Swanson children don't grow baby teeth. They find it wasteful.
Treat. Yo. Self.
Are you a Michael + Leslie? Or a Ron + Kevin?
Did you know Star-Lord makes a surprise appearance?
Are you a Buffy Summers/Wynonna Earp combo or more of a Leslie Knope/Elle Woods mashup?
"She was the first character on television that I truly saw myself in."
True story: You can see Pawnee City Hall outside Sheldon Cooper's window.
"Everybody brings their own unique strengths to the table."
You beautiful, tropical fish.
"I stand by my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things."
Nous sommes toutes des super-héroïnes.
"It's like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas.""
It's time to learn who you're destined to spend the rest of your life with.
That's what ??? said.
Was Jean-Ralphio really always in love with Leslie?
There are a lot of sitcoms, guys.
"I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you."
"Shia LaBeouf-designed wedding dresses do not come cheap."
"This tear, caused by the overwhelming thoughtfulness of my friends, will be my baby's first memory."
"I am having so many thoughts and feelings that I'm paralyzed right now."
You gotta know.
"The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!"
"We have one activity planned: not getting killed." - Ron Swanson
"We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work."
Lipsticks and compliments—my two true passions.
In Pawnee, we trust.
Death to pizza, long live the calzone.
"There is no aspect, no facet, no moment in life that can't be improved with pizza."
"It's after ten o'clock... I've been asleep for four hours."
Someone will die. Of fun!
"Do I look like I drink water?"
"Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing and it says you have network connectivity problems."
"Seriously, Jerry, did you eat farts for lunch?"
Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the nastiest of them all?
"Are you still a nurse or did they fire you for sleeping with all the doctors?"
Alternative V-Day gifts perfect for your platonic bae.
"I do not accept that our country has descended into the hatred-swirled slop pile that he lives in."
To paraphrase Ron Swanson, "Never half-ass two gifts, whole-ass one gift."
Only the best of the best can live in Pawnee.
You'll think April Ludgate actually wrote some of these.
"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing." —Ron Swanson
"I would like to be president someday, so no, I've not smoked marijuana."
Why did it have to ennnnnnnnnd?
Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge.
Ron Swanson, he drinks and he knows things.
"Yellow haired female.... likes waffles and news...."
"I don't think I could be happier right now." "Wanna bet?"
Get one question wrong and you fall into the pit, game over.