Do not go gentle into that good night / You have so many unresolved issues, unanswered emails, and unavoidable social interactions to worry about instead
Not that I needed to, because girls don't poop or anything.
If you've found yourself repeating, "Should I get bangs?" you might have the bangs-flu.
Please use a photo in which I look incredible.
Tossing people into ponds to see if they float is such a hassle! Just consult this quick and easy checklist.
Literally these are you.
Just spitballing here.
*imagines self buried in coffin made of chocolate*
Welcome to Easy Sarah's Bakery.
Who will be the new fifth Spice?
The mall I used to love in the '90s is now a strange, sad place. But it didn't really deserve my love in the first place.
True love waits.
Prepared to be wooed, m'lady.
Like, actually, need-the-Heimlich chokes.
He's got to be somewhere.
Staying silent for a 10-day retreat was as hard as it was rewarding.
Come here often?
It's time to get a new computer.
No pad, no tampon. Just panties. AND I BOUGHT THEM. You're welcome.
Because why not.
Prepare to be TRULY terrified.
Losing your body can be scary and upsetting. Here's how to get it back again.
1 star for 4 Privet Drive.
Nowhere else, though.
It takes one to tango.
Because sometimes the eggplant isn't enough.
Does it count as a sext if you were never meant to see it?
Ooh baby, you like it when I eat mozzarella sticks in bed with you?
It's just too big.
W-e-*search auto-fills WebMD*
I went north to ~find myself~, but discovered it would take more than a hike to change who I was.
Just a couple notes.
In case you needed ideas.
Her name is Mary. She wants to be your friend.
As a 10-year-old I thought pet lobsters sounded "fun." I was wrong.
Just touching base.
Anywhere is fine though.