¡Qué difícil decidir!
Restaurant Workers Are Sharing The Weirdest Customer Order They've Ever Taken, And I'm Shaking My Head
One grilled cheese without the bread, comin' right up.
Time to order a printout for my bedroom.
“He would constantly make fat-phobic jokes about his friends who are fat. There would also be a lot of slut-shaming of his female friends. It really runs the gamut.”
¿También te quedaste esperando a que saliera la Rosalía?
¿Alguna vez lloraste porque sacaste 9.5 y no subió a 10?
"Good enough." —Them, probably.
Kein Grund mehr, den Schein zu wahren.
Nein, ich programmiere deine Webseite nicht gratis.
"Zieht ihr euch auch immer gleich an?"
Hope you're not lactose intolerant...
LOL, remember when everyone was making bread and doing puzzles?
The ways guys "apologize" is too on the nose.
Some references will immediately click, others might take a second (or a Google search).
I feel so seen, lol.
"Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest."
The dads have been busy.
It's time toe find out.
Are these images chuckle-worthy or just plain wrong?
¿Pegaso, minotauro, gárgola?
Are you Wine Mom, Beer Dad, or another of these colorful, intoxicated relatives?
Aw, the extended family is coming over? If only there's something I could do instead...
Why are you smoking a flash drive? Why are you smoking at all?
Let's hope this wedding isn't in your future.
Public transport brings out the worst in us all.
Taika Waititi has adapted a melodramatic novel into a gleefully transgressive movie that pushes viewers to rethink how we react to stories about the horrors of Nazi ideology.
Listen to your elders.
Hay para todos los gustos: mascotas, bebés, mujeres y hombres.
"Aaahhhhhh, vamo nessa!"
Dragons are the most majestic mythical creatures. Just not these ones.
Everyone wants a chance with this hottie!
Nobody is safe from getting these jokes!
Only the strongest will survive.
"That was sexy. That was sexual."
Stop treating stores like they're your house!
If there's a horse girl in there, we're going to find it. 🐴
"I will never forget the time I was at a party and we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to go home."
"Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 minutes."
French tuck, anyone?
"This is a podcast about a girl named Lucky."
"My broke [butt] be having the nerve to tell people, 'Well, I’m here if you need anything.'”
He's got tweets in the back.
Will you make it out tonight?
"Guys, I'm in Spain. The 's' is silent."
"Nipples are just boob straws."
Dad jokes...after dark.
The food poisoning scene from Bridesmaids will ALWAYS be funny.
"Job offers be like: 'We need a virgin with 2 years experience in sex.'”
I guarantee it.
"Billie Eilish is just one of thousands, if not millions, of 17 year olds I am afraid of."
[Steve Irwin voice] Summer is the prime season for spotting the wild boomer!
"Hate when I go out in public and other people be there."
"You all love your boyfriends, but do you love them more than you loved One Direction in 2012."
"I really hate texting, but I also hate phone calls. What I’m saying is don’t contact me."
"Once you pass 27, every day becomes a game of 'Am I sick or is this just how I am now?'”
"I’m single because I hate people, but I want to find one person who I don’t hate, who also hates people, but doesn’t hate me."
"Your circus name is your first name + your surname. That’s it. You’re a clown."
"Me: I’m sad I need a purpose. My brain: Did u say a purchase?"
"The millennial version of 2.5 kids and a picket fence is six houseplants and no roommate."
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye matey!"
"Imagine carrying a baby for 9 months just for it to have a fucking nut allergy...I’ll pass."
"I am, unfortunately, all panic and no disco."
"Don’t think of it as dating ladies think of it as creating a lifelong audience for your Instagram story."
"Want: cuddles. Receives: struggles."
"One time I fell in love with a guy then he texted me 'minus well' so I blocked him."
"What part of 'Do not spend money' do I not understand?"
"Please sign my petition to rename giving birth 'going number 3'.”
“I think all writers have this Platonic ideal of the book they’re going to write next, and then you realize that you’re hamstringed by your own obsessions.”
"Break up with your girlfriend she’s cheating on you every Thursday in the projection room above the auditorium with Shane Oman."
"Therapy is like someone gently walking through your brain and looking around like, 'This how you living??'"
"I’m at Sephora and the makeup artist asked this woman if she was allergic to anything and she said “shrimp.”
"Literally nobody: Me: You’re right I should take another nap."
Basta ya de tanta tontería.
To Live and Die in LA...and they be carried in a Prius hearse.
Tirarte 15 minutos adicionales todas las mañanas buscando uno de tus guantes.
¡Antes de que existiera Anatomía de Grey había arte!
Richtig gute schlechte Witze!
Merece la pena vivir informado.
Das schildet nicht.
She basically has a doctorate in funny.
Happy Halloween to us all!
"If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die."
Siempre de servicio, querida.
My father will be hearing about this.
We're looking for those groan-tastic quips dads always seem to make!
From a dark alley: "Psst, man. Wanna score some REALLY dumb jokes?"
"[First date] Are you mad at me?"
It's a whole new world...
Follando en castellano: oh sí, sigue qué gusto. Follando en catalán: ah ah ah, tu sempre guanyes Doraemon.
Si no soy Martin Luther King, ¿por qué tengo este sueño?