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19 Hilarious Things Women Tweeted This Week

"I really hate texting, but I also hate phone calls. What I’m saying is don’t contact me."

Shyla Watson • 7 hours ago

15 Tweets From Women This Week That Are Hilariously Relatable

"Once you pass 27, every day becomes a game of 'Am I sick or is this just how I am now?'”

17 Tweets By Women That Will Make You Say, "LOL, YES"

"I’m single because I hate people, but I want to find one person who I don’t hate, who also hates people, but doesn’t hate me."

Lol

21 Premium-Flachwitze

Versprochen 🤝

23 Jokes From Women This Week That Are Really, Really, Ridiculously Funny

"Your circus name is your first name + your surname. That’s it. You’re a clown."

15 Tweets From Women This Week That Will Make You Laugh And Feel Seen

"Me: I’m sad I need a purpose. My brain: Did u say a purchase?"

Here Are 17 Amazing Tweets From Women This Week

"The millennial version of 2.5 kids and a picket fence is six houseplants and no roommate."

100 Dad Jokes You're Going To Hate Laughing At So Hard

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye matey!"

22 Things Women Tweeted This Week That Made Me Laugh And Slap My Knee

"Imagine carrying a baby for 9 months just for it to have a fucking nut allergy...I’ll pass."

I Seriously Couldn't Stop Laughing At These 21 Tweets From Women

"I am, unfortunately, all panic and no disco."

18 Jokes From Women This Week That Are Just. Too. Good.

"Don’t think of it as dating ladies think of it as creating a lifelong audience for your Instagram story."

29 Tweets By Women This Week That Are Honestly A Gift

"Want: cuddles. Receives: struggles."

These 27 Jokes From Women Honestly Made My Week, And I Bet They'll Make Yours Too

"One time I fell in love with a guy then he texted me 'minus well' so I blocked him."

These 26 Tweets From Women Will Honestly Have You Laughing All Day Long

"What part of 'Do not spend money' do I not understand?"

28 Things Women Tweeted This Week That Are Just So Freaking Good

"Please sign my petition to rename giving birth 'going number 3'.”

Elizabeth McCracken’s Weird Fiction Breathes Life Into Old Tropes

“I think all writers have this Platonic ideal of the book they’re going to write next, and then you realize that you’re hamstringed by your own obsessions.”

18 Women Who Were Straight Up Hilarious On Twitter This Week

"Break up with your girlfriend she’s cheating on you every Thursday in the projection room above the auditorium with Shane Oman."

22 Women Who Were Straight Up Comical This Week

"Therapy is like someone gently walking through your brain and looking around like, 'This how you living??'"

17 Amazing Jokes By Women That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

"I’m at Sephora and the makeup artist asked this woman if she was allergic to anything and she said “shrimp.”

18 "Literally No One" Jokes That Will Make You Laugh And Say, "True"

"Literally nobody: Me: You’re right I should take another nap."

21 Of The Most "Only In LA" Things To Have Ever Happened

To Live and Die in LA...and they be carried in a Prius hearse.

39 cosas un poquitín molestas que algunas tías sufrimos durante el invierno

Tirarte 15 minutos adicionales todas las mañanas buscando uno de tus guantes.

19 médicos medievales que necesitan explicarnos unas cuantas cosas

¡Antes de que existiera Anatomía de Grey había arte!

This Mom Is A Doctor By Day And Hilarious Cartoonist By Night

She basically has a doctorate in funny.

23 Tweets About Halloween That’ll Legitimately Make You LOL

"If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die."

Quiz

I'm Sorry, Do You Even KNOW Who My Father Is??

My father will be hearing about this.

What Hilarious Off-The-Cuff Dad Joke Has An IRL Dad Made?

We're looking for those groan-tastic quips dads always seem to make!

17 Hilarious Jokes That Are So Dumb You'll Lose I.Q. Points Reading Them

From a dark alley: "Psst, man. Wanna score some REALLY dumb jokes?"

17 diferencias entre follar en castellano y follar en cualquier otra lengua

Follando en castellano: oh sí, sigue qué gusto. Follando en catalán: ah ah ah, tu sempre guanyes Doraemon.

Lol
Quiz

Write A Teacher's Note To Send Home To A Parent With This Fill-In-The-Blank Game

A student is acting up, and now you have to write a note.

Just 13 Filipino Tweets In English That Will Make Anyone Giggle

Imagine if our savior’s name were "Jomar Christ."

I Thought I Understood The World, Then I Found Out How Brussels Sprouts Grow

They don't just...appear on the ground or something?!

Quiz

Are You An Abnormal Eater?

You may be surprised.

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