Children these days...
Spring Break RULES!!! If I'm not dead by tonight, I will be by tomorrow.
Give me a second to pretend like I care.
So it's basically just twice baked vomit? Yummy.
They've updated and completely revolutionized everything... sort of.
Hey, your rent check bounced... again.
Ladies, we get it, you're irritable.
Homophobia is so gay. See what I did there?
Happy hour my ass.
Riiiiight, "The 'University' of Phoenix."
Hashtags are the most condensed form of social media snark.
Surprise, you peaked at 18! Just in case you were wondering, high school is still awful.
I can save how much if I tip over the soda machine?
"Sure glad I flew over 2000 miles to come back and listen to your political views." Really love to hear those. Happy Thanksgiving.
But so, so delicious. Is he eating a McGriddle in one hand and Whopper in the other?
Where do I see myself in five years? Prison or dead.
If you spend more than $500 a year on Starbucks, you aren't allowed to complain about money again...ever. Well I think that's fair.
You're a hipster, not a hippie. They're such an easy target to mock but yet it never gets old.
What shade of green would you like the arrow to be? To paraphrase the late George Carlin, "Anyone driving slower than you is an moron, and faster than you is a maniac."
Trick or treat your way to Type 2 diabeetus diabetes. And remember ladies, make sure you sexy costume doesn't imply you're a furry.
Some things just shouldn't be shared. With all the changes coming down the pipeline, we've forgotten what's truly important: using Facebook to make sure your life is better than your friends.
Man, it sure is nice to have travel alternatives to this bloated, overpriced means of international transportation! Wait...(Warning: NSFW language)