Or guy! Plus: liking your ex's Instagram photos, and dealing with a subtweeter.
Sneak preview: There are none. Also, how to end a Facebook message thread with dignity.
Plus: the ethics of Facebook tagging.
Depends: Are you terrible? Also: post-date Twitter rules, and untagging exes.
Without seeming like a troll. Also: dealing with friends who say "LOL" out loud, and erasing a bad internet date.
Ha! Heh? Hmmm. Also: What happens when you run into an OkCupid human offline? And using your ex's HBO Go password.
And how to be gentle with annoying family members on Facebook. Also: Twitter etiquette during a tragedy.
Plus: how to deal with Twitter pests. And the bizarre gender norms of OkCupid.
It's for sharing news and talking shit. That's it. Also: Twitter flirting (???) and online ex-avoidance.
YES. Embrace your tyranny. Also: Who asks whom on a first Gchat date? And Facebook chatting old crushes.
Never. Also: dealing with Momstagramming, and the rules of Gchat invisibility.
No. But that doesn't mean you should take them! Also: How soon is too soon for Gchat? And when to discipline your dumb Facebook friends.
Stars. It's all about stars. Also: How many pictures can you post of your kids?
They're not your "friends."
Don't let the haters get you down. Unless you're just being lazy.
Well, if you're asking for a favor.
Presenting the FWD IRL FAQ: quick links to your most pressing Internet- and phone-related concerns. And apparently you guys are REALLY WORRIED about Facebook.
It is a bit weird.
The right way to email people when you're inviting them to a party. Also what happens when your mom follows your on Twitter? (Besides PANIC.)
Noooooooooooooooo. NO. No.
Now that you've got a smartphone or a tablet, you can watch anything, anywhere. But should you?
Plus: What to do about sycophantic Twitter followers.
Because for some weird people, "I'm not interested" doesn't work.
There is seriously no good way to do it. None!
Because it's crap and you shouldn't take crap from anybody.
It's harder than it seems, apparently?
You have to wait an hour between each post. AT LEAST.
What are the rules for polite, non-creepy sleuthing? (Hint: Don't do it.) Plus, how much political stuff you're allowed to blast on Facebook and Twitter.
Because phone calls are the worst. Also, the perils of disconnecting your ex's Netflix account.
Because nobody really wants to go on internet dates. Also, the unlamest way to greet people in an email.
And yes, you have to tell them.
Ten messages. Precisely ten. Also, the correct way to introduce people over email.
Short answer: no. Long answer: no. Plus, how desperate do you look when you instantly respond to emails?
There's one simple rule: Don't #FF anybody with more than 10,000 followers. Also, how should you deal with the aftermath of a horrible drunk text you sent?
Not very much. Plus, finding true love on Twitter.
Because sometimes there's no other way.
Because sometimes, your internet stalker is a real person, made out of meat. And you have to talk to them.
Should you decline it, or just ignore it? Plus, what to do about gross, cutesy couples on Instagram.
The ethics of slightly used gadgets as presents. Plus, what do you when you send someone a highly insulting text message they weren't meant to see?
Is a carefully crafted Spotify playlist acceptable? Or does it have to be on a CD? Plus, precisely how to tell if someone likes you with a Facebook friend request.
Is okay to freak out at my friends for sharing horrible, gross images to get me to donate money to a cause? Plus, iMessage read receipts: on or off with your crush?
Don't feel terrible if they don't. Here's what you should do instead. Plus, when leaving voicemails are not a dick move.
Plus, how to not be creepy on Twitter. Welcome to FWD: Halp! a weekly advice column about using technology like a person.
How long do you wait before responding to a text message from somebody you like? Eight minutes.
FWD: Halp! is a weekly advice column on how to behave like a person when using technology, by Katie Heaney. (Ask her things!) This week: Facebook birthdays, Netflix passwords and how to talk to cute people on the internet.