"You're right I should skip class."
"And good Jovi to you, sir."
**raised hands emoji**
"When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT."
"Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff?"
"A homeless man just told me I looked like Kate Hudson and YES he had visible cataracts but I will NOT let u ruin this for me!!!!!!"
"Ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile."