A fisherman finds a magic flounder and turns to a friend for advice in this excerpt from Mallory Ortberg's short story collection The Merry Spinster.
You are who you hang out with.
Natanggap ka nila sa jeje phase mo.
Why should couples have all the fun?
Trabaho lang, may slight personalan!
Time to confirm what you already know.
Our hair is integral to our conceptions of beauty, and often tell a story of how we became the way we are.
"Loving your friends doesn't mean liking them all the time."
Because sometimes, relationships take work.
Talk in an accent for no reason.
Wait, I'm confused.
Who is your ~real~ soulmate?
Gossip can snowball and make you feel like an outcast.
Literally, how many ways can there be to fall in love? When, Paul, your average dating dude gets lucky on Tinder dates but unlucky in love, he enlists his friends to help him with his sex problem.
"Friends... it's the best ship there is."
Every teacher on duty: "Girls – and boy!"
Every girl needs another girl to tell them if their feet smell.
Forever the 3rd, 5th or even 7th wheel.
"You can delete your post, but you can't delete the screenshots my best friend sent me."
You have absolutely no chill about your friendships, and that's OK.
There's nothing better than friends who like wine.
All your friends are on this list.
"Do everything you can in those four years!"
You talk about getting married to each other ALL THE TIME.
"I can hear you, can you hear me?" *repeats forever until dead*
It's all a buncha baloney.
Is it your bored BFF or a Tinder match trying to get steamy?
No matter how drunk you get, you're still the responsible one that makes sure everyone's OK.
Sometimes you just need to be alone and recharge.
Hanging out with people is exhausting!
You eat it with a spoon?! You’ve gotta be KD-ing me.
It's one hell of a reUNIon.
There's definitely a difference.
"I got your back, Jack."
The friendship continues.
Remember that time when....
It's OK, even fellow stalkers won't find out your answers.
"Wanna come over and watch me cry?"
"A best friend isn't a person, it's a tier" - Mindy Lahiri.
Ain't nobody messing with their clique, clique, clique.
We're all "that one friend who..." But which one are YOU?
Because sometimes the love of your life is the one that's been standing next to you all along.
Boys, boys, all types of boys.
"Are you even watching?"
"No, I'm not mad.Why, are you mad?"
It's just really nice.
Dogs are the experts on true love.
Because you'd never survive family gatherings without them.