Will you get lucky this time?
"Next time, order the shrimp."
Choose what you'd eat to get some food for thought.
"Your tongue is your ambassador."
The cookie knows all.
Oh wise Tay, we ask for your guidance.
I was in love with a singer on the brink of stardom and surrounded by legends, but I couldn't write a single word.
"Watching House Hunters isn't a waste of time; it's an investment in your future."
Don't eat the paper!
Behold, the future.
Here's some actual advice to live by.
Plus a super-advanced robotic bartending system, 6 miserably failed TV shows featuring puppets, and a haunting look at the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy.
Chinese people encounter fortune cookies for the first time. I've been living a lie all this time!!! I need some time to process this information.
You can - and should - buy these unfortunate fortune cookies. Extra points for smuggling them into a standard box, sitting back and waiting for the reactions.