You've heard "you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on" so many times that it hurts.
Shit memory, who dis?
I forgot what I was going to write here.
Always remember your bff’s birthday.
"Thanks so much, Fire Truck!"
Can you remember what you had for breakfast?
It's impossible to.
Because remembralls don't exist... yet.
I'm totally holding in a fart right now.
Follow your dreams.
You know that feeling you get when things don't go quite as planned...and you want to run and hide? This is why that happens.
Because you're home for the holidays. And there's nothing to do.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy… But text me the f&$* back.
What, what's the word for that again?
Wait, what were we just talking about?
We've all been there.
Don't worry, it's only two minutes.
College: The best seven years of your life.