STAY AWAY FROM THE ICE CREAM MACHINE.
Food Network once taught us the difference between kale and chard. Why did it pivot to brioche French toast topped with pulled pork?
Guy Fieri, I'm coming for your secret beef jerky stash.
Binge-watching all those cooking shows has definitely paid off.
"How easy was that?"
Do you stan for good vanilla?
Nothing but respect for OUR favorite show on Food Network.
"[Chopped voice] So I'm looking down into my basket and I'm thinking that I can't cook."
From pasta to coffee to meatballs.
*takes a deep breath*...anda curry, anda bhurji, french toast, bread pudding...
This post does not contain raw red onions.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
"If you can't get a boyfriend, vodka and gay porn are fine."
Flavortown: dream vacation or literal hell?
And your mystery basket is...
Feeling like you haven’t accomplished anything? Just remember Guy Fieri didn’t even discover Flavor Town until he was 45.
DON'T USE THE ICE CREAM MACHINE!
“You think Food Network really can’t afford a second ice cream machine for Chopped? Get real.”
This time, store-bought is NOT fine.
"I've got my capers, I've got my breadcrumbs, I don't really need my legs."
Hey babe, wanna go to Flavor Town?
How easy was that?
“The meat isn’t quite done, but it’ll finish cooking out of the oven if I put enough sauce on it.”
"Ina Garten kinkshaming a chicken."
Not to be confused for, "How well do you cook?"
Because Ina taught us all so much.
"No regrets. I don't think you can be an online creator and think that you made any big mistakes."
"Get it on the plate!"
...according to Food Network chef Tyler Florence.
Get hungry. Get married.
And for that reason, we had to chop you today...
Tell us about those life-changing kitchen gadgets.
Store-bought is fine.
Warning: gross food photos ahead.
Yes, we will tell you what to eat.
*takes a trip to Flavortown*
Water lot of things to taco 'bout.
Your taste buds AND funny bone will approve.
"You've been chopped."
The host and author talks rookie kitchen mistakes, his Netflix habits, and (finally!) bringing back Good Eats.
*arranges my dish into a smiley face before giving it to the judges*
*makes a vinaigrette with five seconds left*
Don't worry, we used GOOD vanilla in the making of this post.
Try not to get chopped...
Whether she's comfortable with it or not, the Barefoot Contessa star has one of the most devoted fandoms among cookbook giants. An unprecedented look inside her picture-perfect empire.
Will you be victorious or go up in flames?
The steaks have never been higher.
"A game where sabotage is not only encouraged, it's for sale."