"Nein, ich bin nicht untervögelt. Ich bin wirklich so unfreundlich."
"Offene Beziehung heißt nicht, dass wir niemals eifersüchtig sind."
Luke and Marnie are spooky, seasonal relationship goals. This is the hill I will die on.
If cute people make you nervous, clap your hands.
*Someone cute flirts with me* Me: Do you like clowns?
You guessed it – they're mostly dick pics.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while...”
Get ready to have your childhood ruined.
A decent shit.
"What's your venmo? I'll pay your student loans right now."
Every moment...every moment is soul-crushing.
"I'd love to see you again" = "You will never hear from me again".
Why do I care about someone I don't even know?
This St. Patrick's Day, find out how different types of alcohol affect your partying and hangover.
You're going to want to try these.
Do you suck at flirting?
"I only have sex with random women because I'm lonely."
Eating is just what hungry people do!
Don't panic. If it all goes belly up you can just buy a puppy.
"A freaking Tinderella Story."
"He slapped my ass and said good game."
This is a voyage of discovery.
Get in on like Donkey Kong.
We all suck, but just how bad?
Knowledge is power.
Lindsay. That's a dope name.
Long Island Iced Tea? Sure thing, garbage person!
Food is always more important
We've all been there...
"It takes two to tango..."
“Do I have to talk to his roommate…? What am I gonna say?”
"Are you wearing anything under that...?"
You like it when I call you that, don't you?
“My boss doesn’t know that so far I have slept with 3 customers.” All confessions courtesy of Whisper.
Nothing says cultured like a pickup line in a foreign language, amirite?!
♫ I get a rush when I'm with you, ooh I've got a crush on you ♫
"You lift here often, bro?
"You have a decent...face."
...It would not work well.
Talking to people is hard, guys!
Le romantisme, c'est surfait.
"Big fan of the ass grab."
No one ever believes you’re mad.
No one actually flips their hair in real life.
You can do much better than "You up?" or "Sup girl?"
C'est pas si simple.
There's a fine line between flirty and creepy.