"Just hugged my dentist thinking he was going in for one but really he was just taking off my dental bib."
Have you accidentally sent an office-wide email?
There are two kinds of people in this world: the sweaty, and the sweated on.
"I had peed myself on the ride and didn't realise it."
"The card wasn't the only thing bleeding red."
They're all going to want to pretend this didn't happen in the morning.
"The Instastory had uploaded with my jizz shooting everywhere."
"Next thing I knew I kind of froze and was just riding home with this duck egg..."
"Every birthday, someone says 'happy birthday' to me and I say, 'You too.'"
Honestly, we all just went to the same school.
Have you ever accidentally sent a delivery driver a kiss-blowing emoji?
How could it possibly be that hard?!
"I'm thinking, do I leave? Do I leave the country? Is this happening??"
"I wanted to turn into a different form of matter."
BECAUSE WE'VE ALL DONE 'EM.
"You're gonna be a lonely old man."
Everyone has peed their pants at school...right?
Things may be bad, but they could be so much worse.
Alexa, can you keep a secret?
"I decided to brag about my past as a gymnast, then proceeded to do a backflip in the office lobby."
Oui oui, il y a pire que vous.
There's nothing more horrifying than being embarrassed in front of your peers.
MY EYES. MY EYES.
None of us should have been allowed on Facebook.
"Credit or debit?" "Yes."
Nine months of awkwardness.
"Someone collect their uncle please."
“He tripped… and you guys kissed.”
A true technological life-ruiner.
"All the happiness came out on her jacket."
So, today in irony...
This will definitely help.
Do you have a story that can beat these?!
"I yelled at Suzanne Collins at her Mockingjay launch event."
"This might just ruin everybody’s fantasy about Catholic school uniforms."
Every sister is embarrassing at some point.
"Why does a fart smell worse in the shower than it does anywhere else?"
"Your crush texted and I told them you were pooping."
Crimped hair, don't care.
Hey Mom, do you want skim milk or — *trips on flat surface*
"WTF are you doing?"
Download Whisper for more confessions like these: http://bit.ly/1m4z4sG
Why would you even think of this?!
"The struggle is real."