"Me: *whispering to date as symphony orchestra begins playing Beethoven's 5th* can you believe a dog wrote this."
They're in love, y'all!
He's just a regular guy.
"What is more big dick energy than a Scorpio?"
Pisces women make the best lovers. 💁
Because we could all use a little help.
What type of sorcery is this?
My 2010 self is crying right now.
We have the answer.
Komm schon, das wird witzig!
"Did you eat ALL of the leftovers?"
Heart: burst. Bar: raised.
No more dick pics please, thanks.
Creepers, creepers everywhere.
Yum and hmmmm.
"How long is Pete?"
Hinge, which positions itself as a less sleazy version of Tinder, now belongs to the company that owns Tinder.
Get a food boyfriend.
An excerpt from Dana Schwartz's Choose Your Own Disaster.
I am honest to God knocked out.
Such a mess.
Choose your favorite sensations and we'll tell you the profession of who you'll date next.
"Which aunt, Theresa or Sharon?"
Bitte, dieser Mann kann nicht nur in Unterwäsche herumlaufen.
The woes of singledom.
And how do you avoid invalidating each other's life experiences?
This is a lot.
Looks like the rumours of them dating really were true.
A bio that demands a message.
Beim Versuch der 69er-Stellung tritt einer dem anderen aus Versehen gegen den Kopf.
I AM A GOD WARRIOR!
Love is in the air... or maybe not.
"@Petedavidson, king of loving my captions." —Ariana Grande, 2018
**swipes right on mayonnaise**
Put your relaysh to the test.
"Holy fucking shit! Who saw that coming?"
"Furzender Freund bringt die Nachbarn dazu, die Polizei zu rufen."
Er oder sie könnte gleich neben dir sitzen.
"If Ashley from the Bachelor can win over Jared after 3 years of him putting her in the friend zone than anything is possible, people. ANYTHING!!"
"Farting boyfriend causes neighbors to call police."
Yikes, please take notes people!
Will you be my dream lover?
Time to swipe left on these matches.
"Single for so long that you start taking ya own self on dates."
Who do you ship?!
Who said Twitter was a waste of time?
"I do" is just the beginning.
Das sind keine Stereotype. Du stützt deine Beobachtungen auf Erfahrungswerte.