You really can't make this stuff up.
Get to know the real you.
How ~sweet~ it is.
This quiz is ~irresistible~.
Because haunted houses aren’t just in the movies.
Besides your birthday month, that is.
Hopefully not the partridge.
Find out if your year matched what the stars predicted.
You can't ALL say "recess."
You'll be dancing with the ~stars~.
Because sometimes having everything in common is too much.
According to the stars, you are ~meant to be~.
Let the cards do the work for you!
Everyone needs a little extra help sometimes!
Let the stars do all the hard work for ya! (Horoscopes by AstroStyle)
"That sounds obscene!"
Time to hibernate? See what the stars have to say about it! (Horoscopes via AstroStyle)
Learn your BFF destiny.
There's not always a happy ending.
Maybe it was your cosmic destiny to be cool.
You're bringin' sexy back — all because you were born.
Let's see if you'd end up with the celeb of your dreams.
"I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in mid-winter?"
I said give me something good to eat.
Sorry I can't hang out, Mercury's in retrograde.
Let the cards tell you what's in store for you and your best buds!
The universe has some dating advice for you.
Meet your new career counselor, the stars.
This one is September 17-October 9. Get ready.
You'll be the baddest witches in town.
See what the stars have in store for cuffing season.
See how the ides of September will treat you! All horoscopes via Astrology.com.
The Evening star is shining bright.
Let the universe tell you what's up.
A recurring ~magical~ advice column.
Bet he'll have you naked by the end of this quiz.
Listen to the stars.
With great power, comes great — yeah, we'll leave that to the heroes.
It's a blast from the past.
"Calm your knickers before them dentures fall out."
Do I hate you because you're a Libra, or are you a Libra because I hate you?
The stars have a lot to tell you! Horoscopes condensed from AstroStyle.
Consult our Tarot Vine.
Whatever you get is a win-win.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
Don't look at me.