What is this thing called adulting?
Who knew grocery shopping was so expensive?!
But really you're just applying to entry-level jobs in your underwear like the rest of us.
Because your mother taught you better. Besides, you might end up cohabiting with somebody again. And if it turns out to be a cat, you know it will be judging you.
All sick days are not created equal.
I mean, you wanted to. But failed.