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    Updated on Jun 30, 2019. Posted on Jun 22, 2019

    21 Tweets About Ordering Food That Are All Of Us

    *at a restaurant with a baby* Separate checks, please.

    1.

    waitress: i’m sorry your food is taking so long! me: *presses forehead against hers* listen to me. i know it’s not your fault. i love you. i am tipping you 80%.

    2.

    *at a restaurant with a baby* separate checks please

    3.

    My daughter said her English class requires 1,000 pages of summer reading so we went to The Cheesecake Factory and I handed her a menu

    4.

    torn between getting chinese food for dinner and just fucking dying

    5.

    [ordering from the dollar menu] me: hi i'll have 7 dollars please

    6.

    BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children" 4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its."

    7.

    I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake” Service: unmatched

    8.

    me: hello... yes, one salad please salad person: of course.. your total is $17.82 me: yes.. and .. that seems perfect and normal.. may i have a drink? salad person: yes.. and.. your total is now $23.88 me: yes and thank you very much this is reasonable and great

    9.

    Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family.

    10.

    my friend is the chef at an extremely fancy nyc restaurant and this is an order he received today

    11.

    My 94-year-old great aunt changed the game by ordering “grapes for the table” at a restaurant.

    12.

    [chick-fil-a] EMPLOYEE: can i take your order? ME: yes, thank you for asking EMPLOYEE: my pleasure ME: and thank you for saying it was your pleasure EMPLOYEE: please don’t do this ME: oh i’m just getting started

    13.

    me: Can you swing by Taco Bell? guy driving the ambulance:

    14.

    waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup

    15.

    I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.

    16.

    me @ $2 sandwich: It’s affordable but is it filling? If it’s filling, will it provide me with enough satisfaction? What is the nutritional value of this...? Maybe I should save my money... me @ $4.75 coffee: mmm cofy

    17.

    Whoever thought of appetizers was literally like "we should pregame this food w more food" and I think that's really beautiful

    18.

    me: hey put pineapple on the pizza everyone:

    19.

    Me at Olive Garden looking at the menu knowing damn well I’m getting Chicken Alfredo

    20.

    Waiter: and for you? Me: *after rehearsing in my head for 15 minutes* the chimney changas

    21.

    me: i'd like to make a reservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: sir, this is a McDonald's me: oh my bad. i'd like a McReservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: perfect, see you then

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