Skip To Content

    21 Tweets About Ordering Food That Are All Of Us

    *at a restaurant with a baby* Separate checks, please.


    waitress: i’m sorry your food is taking so long! me: *presses forehead against hers* listen to me. i know it’s not your fault. i love you. i am tipping you 80%.


    *at a restaurant with a baby* separate checks please


    My daughter said her English class requires 1,000 pages of summer reading so we went to The Cheesecake Factory and I handed her a menu


    torn between getting chinese food for dinner and just fucking dying


    [ordering from the dollar menu] me: hi i'll have 7 dollars please


    BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children" 4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its."


    I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake” Service: unmatched


    me: hello... yes, one salad please salad person: of course.. your total is $17.82 me: yes.. and .. that seems perfect and normal.. may i have a drink? salad person: yes.. and.. your total is now $23.88 me: yes and thank you very much this is reasonable and great


    Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family.


    my friend is the chef at an extremely fancy nyc restaurant and this is an order he received today


    My 94-year-old great aunt changed the game by ordering “grapes for the table” at a restaurant.


    [chick-fil-a] EMPLOYEE: can i take your order? ME: yes, thank you for asking EMPLOYEE: my pleasure ME: and thank you for saying it was your pleasure EMPLOYEE: please don’t do this ME: oh i’m just getting started


    me: Can you swing by Taco Bell? guy driving the ambulance:


    waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup


    I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.


    me @ $2 sandwich: It’s affordable but is it filling? If it’s filling, will it provide me with enough satisfaction? What is the nutritional value of this...? Maybe I should save my money... me @ $4.75 coffee: mmm cofy


    Whoever thought of appetizers was literally like "we should pregame this food w more food" and I think that's really beautiful


    me: hey put pineapple on the pizza everyone:


    Me at Olive Garden looking at the menu knowing damn well I’m getting Chicken Alfredo


    Waiter: and for you? Me: *after rehearsing in my head for 15 minutes* the chimney changas


    me: i'd like to make a reservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: sir, this is a McDonald's me: oh my bad. i'd like a McReservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: perfect, see you then