Skip To Content
  • lol badge
  • Yes Yall badge

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

No boxed gifts please.

1. The bride's jewelry is worth more than your entire college education:

2. The wedding will never start on time. A 6 p.m. invitation actually means 8 p.m.:

3. Someone is throwing shade at someone:

4. There is a mutiny if the food is not buffet style:

5. Speaking of food, there are 10 out of 10 chances you will be eating biryani:

6. There is always an "aunty" who comes up to all the single people and asks, "When are you getting married?" or says, "You're next!"

#moreshade

7. Or you've been dragged to this wedding by your parents so they can set you up with someone:

8. The invitation says "no boxed gifts please":

It means we want cash.

9. There are hooligan children everywhere. There is no concept of a "kids table":

10. There is always a coordinated dance-off between the groom's side and bride's side:

11. There is no such thing as a small, intimate wedding. There are 300 guests minimum:

12. Did I mention an average wedding includes, like, five events? Completely clear the month of June, people:

13. If you are at a South Asian wedding in America, there is always one table of non-South Asian co-workers and friends who always look equal parts amazed and confused:

14. There is excessively sappy Bollywood music playing throughout the wedding:

Barf.

15. The mother of the bride is an emotional wreck:

16. And, of course, photography and videography are essential. You want to remember every moment: