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Updated on Jul 14, 2019. Posted on Jul 7, 2019

42 Tweets That Were So Hilariously Funny, They Got More Than 100K Retweets

Including the classic, "If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die."

1.

i’m not gonna ask you again, what the fuck is in your mouth

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My husband sent me this, saying that our cat refuses to move, so his ear is now an `enter key`

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Saw a thicc ass starfish at the aquarium today 😌

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If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die

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So it was my cousins 3rd birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this

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never forget the time my brother missed the bus and wrote my mom this note

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You get 3 wishes https://t.co/1FxzTHCk6b

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Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here"

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me, low on iron: my vision when I stand: * * . * . * . * . * . * . . * * . * . *. . *. . * * * . *. * . . * . * .

12.

do you ever catch yourself being mean for no reason and you’re just like???? go take a nap?????

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So I painted my birth control packet.

15.

Honestly my take away from this chart is that donuts are healthier than I thought https://t.co/VCs5ZCPQqE

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Avon Targaryen. https://t.co/55aBc8P0uD

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Today I thought I saw a woman dressed as a handmaid about to jump from a building. I called 911.

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My niece has her bird trained to attack anyone she screams at 😂😂😂

19.

My sociology professor keeps an alphabetic list of new slang terms he learns from students and I will never get over it

20.

The shit I have to deal with🤦‍♀️😂

21.

my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling

22.

*using Ouija board* "hello, is there anyone there" *Y* *O* *U* *U* *U* *U* "ah damnit this is a Soulja board*

23.

He Sent Her A Meme On Instagram But She Already Saw It On Twitter - Rupi Kaur

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This what I meant https://t.co/68ptvsporn

26.

socrates: to do is to be plato: to be is to do scooby: do be do

27.

this is our farm dog Captain. he points at the chickens every day and we don’t know why lol

28.

let her perform her spells in peace https://t.co/DFA1GxTvZu

29.

Me leaving the house without eating breakfast, dehydrated, and with 2 hours of sleep

30.

at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription were both stupid

31.

Me checking my bank account and calling my friends to make plans anyway

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do u ever wanna take a nap but the nap doesn’t wanna take u

34.

brain: break it me: why? brain: you gotta

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obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice giant snake birthday cake large fries chocolate shake https://t.co/mO9yYHXjYx

37.

Thanks for the clarification, Dad.

38.

me when someone tries to get to know me https://t.co/M7bQWioKe7

39.

when tinkerbell started dying because she didn’t get enough attention...... i felt that

40.

So we had to put a cone on my dog again. My cat loves it

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