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    Posted on Oct 25, 2016

    24 Things You'll Understand If You're A Really Cool Mum

    Me: I really shouldn't drink tonight. Also me: Just one then. Also me: Should we get a second bottle?

    1. The idea of eating dinner without opening a bottle of wine is alien to you.

    Twitter: @jhermann

    You always cook with a glass of wine on the go.

    2. And you have no time for all the health fads that everyone else your age seems to go through.

    No matter how many people ask, you will never do Dry January.

    3. You often go to the supermarket in your pyjamas.

    A young gal is sitting in the parking lot next to me taking selfies in her rearview mirror.... so I thought I would…

    You're not opposed to doing the school run in PJs either.

    4. And you regularly develop really inappropriate crushes on younger men.


    Like your son's thirtysomething R.E. teacher.

    5. Because men in their 50s are just the worst.


    You can tolerate women in their 50s, but why must the men talk so slowly?

    6. Which means that, if you're single, you really struggle to date men your own age.

    Paramount Pictures

    They're all called Peter, none of them sit straight anymore, and they have a nasty habit of falling asleep if you turn the heating up.

    7. You're really good at Snapchat.

    Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

    You're just sad that more of your friends aren't using it.

    8. And you've been known to borrow your twentysomething daughter's clothes.

    The CW

    You're the same size, so what's the problem?

    9. Sometimes your kids tell you to dress your age, but you have no interest in investing in a nice Laura Ashley blouse and a sensible pair of Next jeans.


    Laura Ashley is like the school uniform shop for mums.

    10. You hate going to weddings because you're always put on the table of old people.

    11. And you find nothing more embarrassing than ~the mum dance~.

    watching my mom dance is so painful oh my god blue ivy nvr has to go thru this I wish I was blue ivy rn

    Instead of dancing, women over the age of 30 step from side to side and clap their hands. And it makes you cringe.

    12. That said, weddings are a good excuse to let your hair down and get drunk.

    Twitter: @mkuhn_1

    And wine is your primary interest.

    13. If one more person invites you to a Zumba class, you're going to scream.


    Nothing shouts "middle aged" like the attendees of a suburban Zumba class.

    14. Besides, you're old enough to feel totally happy with your body.


    You know that a cheeky pack of biscuits won't ~really~ hurt.

    15. You like hanging out with your daughter's friends just as much as your own friends.

    Twitter: @mama_herrms

    Sometimes you even go out with them without your daughter.

    16. And you resent having to hang out with your kid's friend's mums.

    Paramount Pictures

    You did not choose for them to be your friends, so why must you make small talk about the traffic with them?

    17. But although you like hanging out with younger people, you hate being the oldest person in the room.


    There always comes a moment when you realise everyone else is half your age.

    18. You live for the moments when you get ID'd.


    Or even better, when someone thinks your daughter is your sister. Even when you know the cashier is probably just complimenting you.

    19. There is nothing you fear quite as much as becoming a grandma.


    You won't let your grandchildren call you "nan", that's for sure.

    20. Except maybe being invited to a PTA event.

    Twitter: @CuteEmergency

    Organised mums are your nightmare.

    21. You only go to the gym so you can have a gossip and cake with your friends afterwards.


    You really don't like to sweat.

    22. But if you're feeling really naughty, you'll opt for a lunchtime wine.

    Twitter: @LouiseConnolly1

    You love a bit of daytime drinking.

    23. You use Facebook all the time.

    You sometimes need a younger person to explain it to you, but it's a great way to keep in touch with old friends.

    24. And your favourite hobby is Facebook stalking your kids.

    It's always nice to know what they're up to!

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