You can never find hats that fit you.
And the ones that do fit look really tiny on your massive head.
Only size XXXL cycling helmets can accommodate your cranium.
And good luck finding glasses that will stretch around the entire width of that barnet.
Obviously that means sunglasses are out too.
You can't wear headbands without getting a crippling headache.
You go through swimming caps like nobody's business.
And let's not even talk about the number of swimming goggles that you've managed to snap.
If you tie your hair up, you look like the actual moon.
Which people think is a hilariously funny thing to point out.
You can't listen to music through headphones.
And sometimes, when you pull a jumper over your nut, it gets stuck.
With big heads come big faces. Which means you go through make up more quickly than other people.
And you're always having to replace your facial moisturiser.
You can never call your forehead a four-head. It's more like a five-head. Or a six-head.
People often assume you must have a massive brain...
When really, you've just got a phenomenal loaf.
But, hey. There's one good thing about having a massive bonce: you look good in literally all photos.