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42 Things All Female Friends Do Without Even Talking About It

Please know that any text you receive has been composed by a group chat committee.

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1. Offer round your lip balm after you’ve used it.

2. Followed by all the other fun stuff in your handbag, like chewing gum, hand cream, and mints.

3. Fake-tan each other's bodies, including the rude bits.

4. Blend each other's makeup between the chin and neck where it can sometimes look a bit patchy.

5. Pick food out of each other’s teeth in public.

6. And sort each other's hair out if it's looking messy.

7. Compose texts via group chat with the seriousness of a jury debating a murder trial in a crown court.

8. Analyse endless screengrabs.

9. Cuddle while watching TV.

10. Tuck the tags of each other’s tops in if you notice they’re sticking out.

11. Pee in the same toilet cubicle on a night out so you don’t have to stop gossiping.

12. But also sometimes on a night in.

13. Lend each other literally anything without a moment’s hesitation.

14. Including things that are ostensibly gross to share, like tights, mascara, and deodorant.

15. Lie on the floor after a particularly big meal with your trousers unzipped for digestive purposes.

16. Keep each other company while one of you gets changed.

17. And compliment your friend’s body the whole time they are changing.

18. Frequently take control of each other’s Tinder accounts, but be 100% earnest in your selections.

19. Keep up-to-date with each other’s family drama so you can join in with the gossip at the drop of a hat.

20. Occasionally send each other really ugly pictures from your past to keep your BFF grounded.

21. Text each other holiday packing lists whenever you go away together.

22. And make sure only one of you brings a hair dryer.

23. Compose romantic WhatsApps on each other’s behalf.

24. Compose ~sexy~ WhatsApps on each other's behalf.

25. Proof-read each other’s CVs, job applications, and Tinder messages without expecting anything in return.

26. Arrive at each other’s house parties bang on time so your friend doesn’t have to be alone in that awkward first hour where no one else turns up.

27. Sniff each other’s armpits to check for bad smells.

28. Sneak off for strategic midnight chips on a big night out, and then return without speaking a word of the secret meal you have just eaten.

29. Dance in circles with your bags in the middle to both ward off creepy men and protect your belongings from robbers.

30. Clean up each other’s sick, take off each other’s makeup, and put each other to bed when you’ve drunk too much.

31. And if you’re feeling especially kind, leave a pint of water and two painkillers on their bedside table.

32. Make eye contact every time a man says something that only a man would say.

33. And then immediately make your escape.

34. Help with chores, like emptying the dishwasher or folding laundry, if you’re at each other’s houses and there are chores that need doing.

35. Give each other extensive medical diagnoses based on nothing more than Google search results on request.

36. Like each other’s social media pictures immediately so you never have 0 likes.

37. Routinely Facebook-stalk each other’s exes, one-night stands, and school best friends just to keep tabs on their lives.

38. Hate each other’s enemies.

39. Provide live updates when you're on a date.

40. Give each other very passionate speeches listing all of your good qualities every time one of you feels a bit crap about the way you look.

41. Defend each other without even knowing why.

42. And plan your maid-of-honour speeches in meticulous detail, even if you have no intention to ever get married.