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19 Secrets Wedding Caterers Won't Tell You

We're terrified of spilling red wine on the bride's dress.

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1. You'd be surprised at how many couples forget to pick a first dance.

But don't worry: We have countless CDs on standby for when this happens.
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But don't worry: We have countless CDs on standby for when this happens.

2. Interrupting groups of wedding guests to offer round canapés is incredibly awkward.

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And it's even worse if you put your leftovers back on our serving trays. We can hardly keep serving with your used toothpick there, can we?

3. Topping up champagne is impossibly hard if guests don't tilt their glasses.

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Help us out and tilt your glass. Otherwise, it's going to overflow.

4. And there is nothing as stressful as starting off a champagne waterfall.

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It takes serious practice.

5. Working behind a hot buffet is the worst job.

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It's so warm, your face sweats, and you get really hungry but you can't eat any of the food.

6. But table service is pretty nerve-wracking too. Not spilling stuff is always a challenge, but it's more important when it's the best day of someone's life.

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So if we can get away with it, we'll stick to carrying two plates at a time instead of three.

7. But most of all, we're terrified of spilling red wine down the bridal gown.

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8. Even if we're not thinking of getting married, we can't help but compare your wedding day to how we'd do things.

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If you have particularly nice canapés, for example, we'll make a mental note.

9. We get a bit emotional at your speeches, even though we don't know you.

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We're really tired from having been on our feet all afternoon, and it all just gets a bit much.

10. We love gossiping about your family politics.

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Especially if you've purposely designed your seating plan so certain family members avoid each other.

11. There is a special place reserved in hell for people who have wedding karaoke.

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We get that your guests are having a nice time, but listening to drunk people screech into a microphone while you're stone cold sober and clearing up their plates is not fun.

12. And "Summer Nights" is hands-down the worst track.

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That screechy bit at the end in particular.

13. We can't help it if the bar tab has run out.

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So no matter how many times you moan that the couple are stingy, we can't pour you another pint unless you hand over some cash.

14. We love it when you don't go for a traditional fruit cake.

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Waiters and kitchen staff often get the leftover wedding cake, and we've eaten so many fruit ones that we get really excited if you go for chocolate or vanilla.

15. It doesn't matter how many times you offer to buy us a drink, we're probably not allowed to accept it.

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Imagine being at a wedding where all the waiters were totally smashed. Thought not.

16. You think drunk relatives are a problem when you're a wedding guest? They're 10 times worse when you're being paid not to be rude to them.

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We like chatting to wedding guests, but when your uncle's had his tenth G&T of the night and is talking about the time you left home for university, we get a bit bored.

17. Although working at weddings is great fun, finishing a shift at 3am is not.

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And it never gets any easier.

18. The smell of grease never leaves our uniform.

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It doesn't matter how many times we wash them.

19. And, although we don't know how it got there, we'll find confetti in our hair for weeks afterwards.