1. Friday nights were reserved for watching Top Of The Pops, learning dance routines, and shoving microwave popcorn into your mouth.
2. Afterwards, you'd work out how to compose the new Sugababes single on your Nokia 3310.
3. And if you mastered it, you'd prepare to spend Monday registration composing it on all your friends' phones too.
4. Because nothing said #friendshipgoals quite like matching ringtones.
5. Except friendship bracelets. Which you obviously had too.
6. You had to reserve who you were sitting by on the school trip bus at least a week in advance.
7. And you'd arrange who you were sitting across from too.
8. Cool kids at the back, obvs.
9. ~Going to town~ was the coolest thing to do at the weekend.
10. In town, you'd split a bag of five Millie's Cookies with your best friend.
11. You'd fight over who got the raspberry and white chocolate one.
12. And then you'd head to Jane Norman to buy the cheapest purse possible, with the sole intention of getting their branded carrier for your P.E. kit.
13. Your social status was determined by how many people's MySpace Top 8s you made it into.
14. And you hinted at who you fancied by delicately worded answers to bulletin questionnaires.
15. "Who was the last person you text?"
16. "nt telin ;)"
17. You spent more time than you'd like to admit pulling your hair back into a high ponytail and pulling out two strands at the front.
18. In fact, the only thing you spent more time doing was taking webcam selfies for your MSN profile.
19. You loved MSN. The moment you got home from school, you logged on.
20. MSN is where you first spoke to boys.
21. And where you first played truth or dare.
22. "omg wrong convo soz"
23. You also spent a lot of time on Neopets.
24. And Habbo Hotel.
25. That's where you struck up friendships with strangers in chat rooms.
26. But not before you convinced your parents that you weren't talking to potential murderers.
27. In fairness, you weren't. You were just chatting to some girl called Vicki about what the weather was like in Birmingham.
28. The best birthday parties were bowling parties.
29. But there was always one girl who'd beat everyone at Dance Dance Revolution.
30. She was the kind of girl who'd have that Tiffany's heart necklace everyone was obsessed with.
31. And a fake Louis Vuitton handbag that she swore was real.
32. Your ultimate life goal was to go to a Skins party.
33. Or somehow get commissioned to do a British version of The Simple Life.
34. But set in America.
35. And still with Paris and Nicole in it.
36. Basically you wanted to be their British best friend.
37. "Sana sa, sana sa".
38. You watched Shipwrecked every Sunday afternoon.
39. You would have totally been a Tiger.
40. Shows like The O.C. and One Tree Hill convinced you that life would be better if you went to an American high school.
41. And you would have been a cheerleader, even though you were rubbish at gym.
42. You'd have given anything to be that one British girl who got Made.
43. You spent half of your money on 3-for-2 Claire's Accessories earrings.
44. Even though they kinda made your ears turn green.
45. And the other half on buy-one-get-one-free Tammy thongs.
46. Even though no one in the history of the world has ever found a thong comfy.
47. You showed off your caring side by wearing multiple charity wristbands.
48. Besides, they were the only jewelry that wasn't banned by your school.
49. The biggest fight you ever had with your mum involved a conversation about why GHDs were so much better than the Babyliss 6-in-1s you already had.
50. They heated up instantly, goddammnit.
51. Most other fights you had were about phone credit.
52. So u hd 2 txt lyk dis 2 mk sure u didn't go ova 1 screen.x
53. You fell head-over-heels in love with Gareth Gates.
54. To the extent that you passionately hated any teenage girl who was photographed near him.
55. And don't even get me started on Jordan.
57. There was no pain quite like waiting for a song to download from Limewire and then realising it was broken.
58. You learnt everything you needed to know about periods, snogging, and sex from Mizz, Sugar, and Shout.
59. But your customised clothes never looked as good as theirs.
60. Your mum refused to understand how it could simultaneously be hot enough to wear a denim mini skirt and cold enough to wear Ugg boots.
61. But it totally could.
62. You designed your dream house on The Sims multiple times.
63. You didn't design Gareth Gates and Jordan, and then remove the stairs from the pool when Jordan was swimming so she died and then make Gareth fall in love with you.
64. Because that would have been mental.
65. OK whatever, you did.
66. BUT SHE TOOK HIS INNOCENCE.
67. You wanted to relate to Jacqueline Wilson's Girls In Love books so much.
68. But you just didn't have as many life experiences as Nadine, Magda, and Ellie.
69. Nothing was quite as exhilarating as prank calling someone's home phone by dialling 141 in front of their number.
71. You got genuinely stressed if you missed a minute of Fame Academy's live stream.
72. And you felt so conflicted about Carolynne.
73. She had such gorgeous hair, but Pete had a girlfriend.
74. You extended the straps on your Roxy school bag as much as you possibly could.
75. And made fun of the year 7s for wearing their bags so high.
76. The IT room was the coolest place to spend lunch.
77. Sometimes you'd Google Image search pictures of the boys you fancied, copy and paste them into a Word doc, and print them out for the inside of your locker.
78. Being cool meant having an email address that was something like firstname.lastname@example.org
79. And an email signature that was something like, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
80. In Lucida Handwriting.
81. There was nothing quite as exciting as a new Harry Potter book or film coming out.
82. And tbf, nothing in the rest of life has actually been that exciting since.