"Eughhhh. I dropped my iPhone and now it deposits glass into my cheek twice daily."
"Eughhhh. My iPhone battery's died so I'll never know where to meet everyone."
"Eughhhh. My iPhone autocorrected me and now I've embarrassed myself more than ever before.
NOTICE A RECURRING THEME?
Yep. You've got it. BYE iPHONE BYE.
1. Let's bring back the Nokia 3310. Why? Because you never had to charge them.
2. They didn't require screen protectors.
3. They were virtually indestructible.
4. And because you could buy such jazzy phone covers, they always looked really cool.
5. If you were feeling a little maverick, you could always have different colours on the front and back.
6. Of course, phone charms were a necessity.
7. Owning a 3310 was basically like being a DJ.
8. But you could only save five ringtones. So you had to choose carefully.
9. Nokia 3310s were all about the laughs. There was nothing funnier than changing the language settings on your friend's phone.
10. And nothing cooler than disregarding vowels.
11. Of course, working out which texts were meaningful enough to save was an arduous task.
12. As was working out what your welcome screen greeting should be.
13. But you could always take a break to play Snake II, the best game in the whole world ever.
14. Closely followed by Bantumi and Space Impact.
And let's note that all of these games required only one hand to play them. Which is very efficient.