1. When you get up after having crossed your legs in a meeting and it looks like you've developed a hot, circular rash.
2. When you notice your skirt is tucked into your pants and now you have to subtly untuck it in front of your boss.
3. When you look in the mirror and realise that you sprayed your dry shampoo too close – you've basically come to work as a nan today.
4. When you take your bag to the loo because you need to change your tampon and your boss is like, "Ohhh, are you off out?"
5. And then a colleague enters the cubicle next to you.
6. When you go to the bathroom and realise that none of your colleagues mentioned that your entire face has melted off.
7. Or that you accidentally smeared your eyeliner down your cheeks.
8. When you go out for lunch looking like a normal human being, but then it rains so you return as a lion.
9. When you have to bend over to plug something in, but you're wearing a short skirt.
10. When you're tired and moody and you cba explaining that you're genuinely not hungover.
11. When you reach into your bag to get something and a sea of tampons pours out around your desk.
12. When the underwire of your bra decides enough's enough.
13. When one of your boobs decides to be mischievous on the day you've chosen to wear a low-cut top.
14. And then you have to spend your whole day yanking up your top, which only draws more attention to your troublesome boob.
15. Or worse, when both boobs team up and try to break free from your button-up shirt.
16. When you head out for lunch and the wind decides your hair should be best friends with your lip gloss.
17. When your tights roll down and you have to subtly hoist them up in front of your boss.
18. And you inevitably ladder them in the process.
19. When you realise you're wearing a patterned bra underneath a plain top.
20. When your shoes give you blisters so you have to waddle around the office like a duck.
21. Until eventually it gets so bad that you have to abandon your shoes and walk around barefoot like Jesus.
