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If she hates him, I hate him more.
How else would we stay up-to-date on important things like what the other person had for lunch?
Want to know when my mum's next optician's appointment is? I can tell you.
Even if we know the other person won't be able to help.
Whenever she calls me, I was just about to call her. And we sometimes accidentally cook the same dinner. OoOoOoOo!
And if we make eye contact, we're gone.
I hate Amy because she stole my best friend in year 6, so my mum blanks Amy's mum in the supermarket. And that's the way it'll always be.
The best bit of any family gathering is bitching about it on the way home.
And who'll know exactly how we're feeling before we even speak.
And it also means knowing someone who'll keep all you secrets and never judge you.
And even if she doesn't, she'll try damn hard to understand why I do.
Or ugly. Or just normal.
So she knows all my friends' most shameful stories and I know hers. Although we'd never admit it.
Because neither of us can imagine a woman we'd rather resemble.