1.
Inventor of Fitbit falls off Machu Pichu, but does hit ten thousand steps on the way down
2.
[being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
4.
[Fitbit commercial with me] BEFORE: lazy guy AFTER: lazy guy who had $129
5.
I keep my fitbit in the original box same as I do my special edition Malibu Barbie.
6.
If I hit my Fitbit goal I don't move anymore. It can get a little dicey sitting in a crosswalk with cars honking and swerving around me.
8.
I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
9.
I make sure to put my fitbit on before getting dressed so I get credit for all the calories I burn trying on 400 outfits before I pick one.
10.
I woke up mid sprint last night because I was dreaming there was a bear in my apartment. I'm pissed I didn't sleep with my Fitbit on.
11.
What's kind of collar is your cat wearing? Normal. Is that a Fitbit? No. Really? You don't know how many carbs in a blue jay, do you?
12.
Friend: I'd go crazy if I had to wear an ankle monitor and have every step tracked. Me (nodding): How's your #Fitbit doing?
13.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
14.
Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday.
15.
Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch
16.
I've reprogrammed my FitBit to allow for more me time. And by reprogram, I mean I've attached it to the leg of a deer. I was born to run.
17.
You know you're a bad dancer when your Fitbit thought you were swimming at the club last night.
18.
Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit.
19.
Fitbit dashboard of a college student: Sunday: 14 hours of sleep, 100 steps Monday-Saturday: 4 hours of sleep, 10k steps
20.
On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up.
21.
I can't get out of bed, my Fitbit is charging and my steps won't count