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How Fancy Is Your Grandmother?

Is she really fancy?

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images.unsplash.com / BuzzFeed
  1. Tick off every statement that applies to your grandmother.

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    Insists that you call her “gran”
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    Insists that you call her “grannie”
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    Is referred to by others in your family as “grannie Meg”, or whatever her name is
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    Serves you Earl Grey in a cup with a saucer whenever you visit
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    Serves biscuits on a plate
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    Wears a full face of makeup every day
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    Has a signature perfume that she's worn for longer than you've lived
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    Is obsessed with the royal family
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    Especially Zara Phillips, who seems like such a lovely girl
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    But vehemently denies being obsessed with the royal family
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    Reads The Daily Telegraph
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    Does The Daily Telegraph crossword
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    Reads The Spectator
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    Always drinks wine with lunch
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    Often drinks wine before lunch
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    Serves her fancy whiskey that she’s been saving since the ‘60s
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    Makes her own sloe gin
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    Idolises Joan Collins
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    Bitches about television presenters with regional accents
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    But not Claudia Winkleman; she’s charming
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    Appreciates the long dresses on Strictly that no one really has occasion to wear anymore
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    Shops at Waitrose
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    Shops at M&S
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    Has opinions about the different cashiers at the supermarket
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    And the garden centre
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    And the Post Office
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    Listens to The Archers
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    Goes to the hairdressers weekly
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    Cannot understand how the hairdresser can afford such nice holidays
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    Wears twin sets
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    Wears pearls
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    Only orders clothes from catalogues
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    Is obsessed with the tennis
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    Is obsessed with the cricket
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    Would love to go on a cruise if it weren’t for the clientele
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    Goes to church exclusively for the neighbourhood gossip
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    Bitches about how the neighbourhood is changing
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    Goes to The Proms
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    Attends the weddings of distant family members and bitches if they are not 100% traditional
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    Disapproves of men with beards
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    Shakes hands with any S.O.s you introduce her to
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    Uses Imperial Leather soap
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    Obsesses over her garden
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    But still employs a gardener
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    Wears high heels at all times, even indoors
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    Is pleasantly surprised when her GP is competent
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    Thinks getting a bus pass is beneath her
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    Knits cardigans
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    Judges restaurants entirely on their waiting staff, not their food
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    Cooks a full three-course meal whenever she has you over
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    And talks a lot about when being posh meant really being posh
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