Insists that you call her “gran”Insists that you call her “grannie”Is referred to by others in your family as “grannie Meg”, or whatever her name isServes you Earl Grey in a cup with a saucer whenever you visitServes biscuits on a plateWears a full face of makeup every dayHas a signature perfume that she's worn for longer than you've livedIs obsessed with the royal familyEspecially Zara Phillips, who seems like such a lovely girlBut vehemently denies being obsessed with the royal familyReads The Daily TelegraphDoes The Daily Telegraph crosswordReads The SpectatorAlways drinks wine with lunchOften drinks wine before lunchServes her fancy whiskey that she’s been saving since the ‘60sMakes her own sloe ginIdolises Joan CollinsBitches about television presenters with regional accentsBut not Claudia Winkleman; she’s charmingAppreciates the long dresses on Strictly that no one really has occasion to wear anymoreShops at WaitroseShops at M&SHas opinions about the different cashiers at the supermarketAnd the garden centreAnd the Post OfficeListens to The ArchersGoes to the hairdressers weeklyCannot understand how the hairdresser can afford such nice holidaysWears twin setsWears pearlsOnly orders clothes from cataloguesIs obsessed with the tennisIs obsessed with the cricketWould love to go on a cruise if it weren’t for the clienteleGoes to church exclusively for the neighbourhood gossipBitches about how the neighbourhood is changingGoes to The PromsAttends the weddings of distant family members and bitches if they are not 100% traditionalDisapproves of men with beardsShakes hands with any S.O.s you introduce her toUses Imperial Leather soapObsesses over her gardenBut still employs a gardenerWears high heels at all times, even indoorsIs pleasantly surprised when her GP is competentThinks getting a bus pass is beneath herKnits cardigansJudges restaurants entirely on their waiting staff, not their foodCooks a full three-course meal whenever she has you overAnd talks a lot about when being posh meant really being posh
How Fancy Is Your Grandmother?
Your grandmother isn't very posh at all, and that suits you just fine. She can be difficult from time to time, but on the whole she's great fun and you wouldn't change her for the world.
Your grandmother is definitely a little bit posh. She is always dressed beautifully and going to visit her is always a real treat. She's great and you wouldn't change a thing about her.
Your grandmother is incredibly posh. She's always dressed meticulously, and she loves to keep you up to date with what's going on with the royal family. What a babe.