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How Stereotypically Mum Is Your Mum?

"You'll ruin your dinner if you eat that".

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  1. Tick off everything your mum has done:

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    Said “I am not a taxi service”.
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    Said "only boring people get bored".
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    Said “morning, sunshine!" when you are hungover.
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    Said “GOOD AFTERNOON!” when you get up after 9am.
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    Said “I thought you might have died” if you're not in touch for two days.
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    Said “this is your mother” when she calls you as if it’s not completely obvious.
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    Finished all texts, "Love Mum xxx".
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    Liked everything you do on Facebook.
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    Thought LOL meant “lots of love”.
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    Owned Crocs.
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    Had one TV chef who they fancy.
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    Said “ooh, he’s nice” about a chat show guest.
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    Worried that a female celebrity is "too thin".
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    Asked after people you went to school with, even though you no longer speak.
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    Referred to people she approves of as “a lovely girl/boy”.
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    Deleted texts off her phone when she doesn’t need them anymore.
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    Complained about her fingers being too big to text.
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    Sent you Daily Mail horror stories about the danger of drinking.
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    Posted you articles she's ripped out of a weekend supplement.
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    Described something as “the done thing”.
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    Called you to tell you the village gossip.
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    Called you to tell you the hairdresser's gossip.
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    Slowed down the process of opening presents by keeping a list of all the people who need thank you cards.
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    Called lipstick “lippie”.
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    Called chocolates "choccies".
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    Called biscuits "biccies".
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    Listed every ingredient in a dish you’re eating while you’re eating it .
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    Described women she doesn't like as "very primal".
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    Described women wearing make up as "very glamorous".
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    Given you food to take home when you visit.
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    Told you exactly what TV show she's missing to be on the phone to you.
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    Had a crush on an inappropriately young, gay, X Factor contestant and been shocked to learn he's gay.
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    Been on a cruise.
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    Carried tissues in her handbag.
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    Done Zumba.
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    Done yoga.
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    Done pilates.
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    Done water aerobics on holiday.
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    Started clearing up your dinner while you were still eating it.
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    Asked you if you're taking your vitamins.
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    Written a Christmas round robin letter with loads of exclamation marks!
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    Had a Christmas card writing ~system~.
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    Sent you the same text twice if you didn't reply to the first one.
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    Had a box of “spare paper” for writing to-do lists.
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    Had a gift card drawer.
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    Had a wrapping paper drawer.
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    Not understood your rent.
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    Over indulged in a hotel breakfast buffet.
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    Fancied their gym instructor.
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    And their osteopath.
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    Been pleased that the bullies from your school aren’t doing well now.
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    Stayed angry at someone you fell out with in year 5, even though you're over it now.
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    Had a long conversation with a woman in Tesco, and then replied "no idea" when you asked her who it was.
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    Called pudding “naughty”.
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    Called a Lush bath bomb a "treat".
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    Said “oh don't get me anything" when it's her birthday when she actually did want something.
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    Text you to check you’re going to regular doctor/dentist/opticians appointments.
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    Got upset when you didn't call, even though she never calls, as if it never occurs to her that it could work the other way round.
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    Pointed out holes in your clothing and insisted on mending them there and then.
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    Asked after your ex who she got on really well with.
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    Called you by your full name when you are in trouble.
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    Got angry if you go to the cinema on a sunny day.
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    Said “You won’t feel the benefit if you put your coat on now”.
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    Had a friend called Susan, Alison, or Julie.
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    Called all of her friend's husbands Peter because she has a theory that all men of her age are called Peter.
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    Listed your siblings name, your dad’s name, and your cat’s name before getting your name right.
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    Told you an item of clothing you own is “quite fun”.
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    Owned a large number of items from Debenhams.
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    Worn a hat to a wedding.
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    Described shoes as “sensible”.
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    Had a signature birthday cake that she always makes.
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    Had one friend who she is nice to even though she secretly hates her.
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    Had a Tupperware system in place.
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    Had one word she can’t say without whispering, like "lesbian".
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    Bought a Gu chocolate pot as a "Friday night treat".
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    Bought you the same advent calendar every year.
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    Embroidered something.
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    Read Chat magazine at the doctors.
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    Told you off for wearing unironed clothes.
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    Put sensible M&S underwear in your Christmas stocking.
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    Thought that because you didn't like a certain food when you were 5 you still don't now.
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    Deep conditioned her hair.
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    Done an impression of the M&S advert.
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    Signed a petition.
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    Flirted with a "dishy" male teacher at parents' evening.
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    Had opinions on whether or not Jamie's 30 Minute Meals take 30 minutes to make.
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    Said "oooh you like him" about some celebrity you literally don't like.
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    Denied dying her hair.
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    Dropped hints whenever your cousins get engaged or have babies.
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    Harboured hopes that you'll end up marrying Tom, a "lovely boy" you were friends with for a bit in year 8.
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    Snuck into your room to make your bed because you didn't do it neatly enough.
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    Put Post Its in your school lunch box.
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    Put name labels on your stuff when you went to university.
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    Spent hours talking on the phone to someone she doesn't like.
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    Put her phone on loudspeaker but used it as a normal phone.
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    Worn bootcut jeans.
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    Said “you’ll ruin your dinner if you eat that”.
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    Owned a tea pot.
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    Had one haircut for the last 20 years.
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    Said she doesn't watch much TV, even though she clearly does.
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    Been unable to concentrate with any kind of music on.
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    Watched TV while reading the newspaper and then when she can't follow the plot, said that it's too complicated.
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    Mispronounced a celebrity's name.
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    Asked if you've had a wee before you leave the house.
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    Attempted to give you everything she owns whenever you go home.
 
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