The 28 Golden Rules Of Celebrity Tattoos

Listen up, Cara Delevingne et al: tattooing the sole of your foot is not OK.

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2. Large heart tattoos that say "FAMILY" across the middle of them belong exclusively to tramps who walk dogs on bits of old rope.

3. If you beat up your girlfriend, it's probably not a good idea to permanently ink her battered face onto your neck.

9. If you're going to insist upon circling your entire left eye with a garish pattern, make sure you copyright it first.

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Mike Tyson learned the hard way, when The Hangover Part II copied his COOL design.

14. There are better ways to express an enthusiasm for geography than by tattooing the longitudes and latitudes of your childrens' birthplaces onto your arm.

15. If you want to get a tattoo in a foreign language, pay Google Translate a cheeky visit.

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That way, Britney, your "mysterious" tattoo won't end up saying "strange."

17. Even if Rod Stewart's your dad, tattooing "Daddy's Little Girl" on your lower hip is creepy.

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And don't wear a skirt drawing attention to its placement, Kimberly Stewart.

20. And ice creams are for eating, not getting permanently etched into your cheeks.

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Why did Gucci Mane do this? "I live my life cool as ice... as in I'm so icy I'll make ya say 'Brr,'" he explained. Glad that's cleared up.

23. Do a bit of planning first. Tattoos r 4 lyf.

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Of Brad Pitt's back tatt, Angelina said, "I drew that. We went to Davos. It's not that we were bored at the World Economic Forum, but one night we didn't have anything to do, so I was drawing on his back."

26. Don't ever (EVER) get your husband's name tattooed onto your wrist. When you divorce, you'll only end up crossing it out.

28. And please, think carefully about the future.

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A tattoo of your girlfriend might look cute now, Zayn Malik, but when you grow up, you'll just be a creepy, old man with a tattoo of a child on your arm.