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21 Things Everyone Who Loves Dogs But Hates Babies Knows

Dogs are cute and babies are gross.

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1. There's no easy way to say it: You hate babies and babies hate you.

Netflix

That's the way it's always been.

2. But even though you're terrible at hanging out with babies, you're really, really good at hanging out with dogs.

Warner Bros.

Dogs love you.

3. In fact, you always manage to befriend a dog wherever you go.

Somehow, the dog always finds you.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Somehow, the dog always finds you.

4. But as soon as someone hands you a baby to hold, you instantly panic.

ABC

And you suspect the baby can sense your fear, which makes them cry even louder.

5. You really struggle with the fact that you can't have a conversation with a baby.

ABC

The baby will never answer you, which makes conversations very boring and one-sided.

6. Whereas you could chat to a dog for hours.

Talking to a friendly pup is really no bother at all.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Talking to a friendly pup is really no bother at all.

7. The problem with babies is that they contribute nothing to any conversation they're a part of, and yet they're always the centre of attention.

Warner Bros.

You know it's awful, but a small part of you feels jealous of them.

8. Whereas dogs contribute so much and deserve all the attention they get.

There is no situation that isn't improved by a friendly pup.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

There is no situation that isn't improved by a friendly pup.

9. You would never volunteer to babysit a friend's baby, but you would pay literal money to dogsit a friend's dog.

Dogsitting is your idea of the perfect evening, whereas babysitting is your idea of hell.
Elaina Wahl / BuzzFeed

Dogsitting is your idea of the perfect evening, whereas babysitting is your idea of hell.

10. Even though you tell your friends that their babies look cute, you secretly think they all look like shrunken versions of fat, old men.

ABC

Cute babies just aren't really a thing.

11. But not only are dogs cute, they can also be beautiful, and elegant, and glamorous.

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Dogs are among the best looking animals out there.

12. Nothing aggravates you more than a baby in a pub.

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It will inevitably scream and ruin the atmosphere for everyone.

13. But nothing delights you as much as a friendly dog in a pub!

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Pub dogs are the best dogs.

14. Whenever you see a dog, you will always stop to introduce yourself and pay its owner a compliment.

You would never stop and introduce yourself to a baby, though.
Adam Ellis / Jesse McLaren / BuzzFeed

You would never stop and introduce yourself to a baby, though.

15. If you don't already own a dog, you have given a lot of thought to what you would name your future pups.

For example, I will call my greyhounds Felicity and Keith.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

For example, I will call my greyhounds Felicity and Keith.

16. The grossest thing about babies is that they dribble.

HBO

But when dogs drool it's so cute!

17. And it's also gross that they wear nappies that have to be changed regularly.

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Dogs are much too civilised for nappies. Teaching dogs not to poo everywhere just means going to puppy training, which is a pleasure because it's the cutest thing ever.

18. When a baby screams, you get so full of rage you could scream. But when a dog wines, you just give it a lil' tickle and everything's OK again.

Dogs are a lot more reasonable than babies.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Dogs are a lot more reasonable than babies.

19. When parents tell you about their baby's daily routine you die of boredom every time.

MTV

You will never care whether he slept through to 7am or not. Sorry but you just won't.

20. Whereas you'd always be happy to hear about a dog's day-to-day activities.

It's great to hear about a lifetime of long walks, naps, and eating food really quickly.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

It's great to hear about a lifetime of long walks, naps, and eating food really quickly.

21. To conclude: Dogs are fab and babies are drab.

You can't argue with the numbers - dogs are better than babies