1. Your grammar's really bad. 2. Your questions are boring. 3. You're way too needy. 4. Stalking is never OK. 5. It's weird that you have dreams about her. 6. Seriously, your dreams are so weird. 7. It's really not cool that you only wash because Lena does it. 8. You use the word "ya" in tweets. 9. The fact that you don't like spontaneous hugs is weird. 10. Spirit animals aren't a thing. And if they were a thing, Lena Dunham probably wouldn't be yours. 11. Holy shit, there's more than one of you. 12. No one likes a pedant. 13. What you're doing is mistaking disappointment in your own haircut for illness. And that's not right. 14. You have some really unusual ideas and it feels like they're not good or valid. 15. I don't think Lena Dunham has a favourite font. 16. You tweet in paragraphs that end in semi-completed <3s, and that's just not really Twitter protocol. 17. Sometimes you just care too much, and it gets a bit weird for everyone else. 18. The way you combine adjectives is really confusing. 19. Hunting down strangers is a weird 9pm activity. 20. She's just not that into you. Kthnxbye.