1. This is how you felt every time you wrote an essay.
2. Logic trees make you want to cry.
3. One too many debates about the meaning of life made you become best friends with your tutor.
4. But now you're scared he's got a new BFF.
5. You never want to see this duck rabbit again.
6. You felt like this every time an article nullified your argument.
7. You kinda find Wittgenstein a bit sexy.
8. This is what your tutors said to you every time you spoke.
9. You used to think...
10. But now you've realised...
11. You'd totally unplug yourself from JJ Thomson's violinist.
12. Yep. Life's probably a dream.
13. One big, unemployed dream.
14. If a tree fell and you didn't hear it, YOU JUST WOULDN'T CARE.
15. It doesn't matter that your degree counts for nothing, because nothing exists anyway.
16. You know all this information...
17. This website meant you never had to open a book.
18. You've had this conversation 500 times.
19. You might be poor, but at least you got to spend three years thinking about what that might be like.
20. Oh hai there, life.
