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14 Finnish Men Who Exist To Make All The Other Men Feel Bad

Voi pojat!

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Hey there! I dunno if you heard, but Finnish men are so hot it actually hurts to look directly at them.

1. Just look at Samuli Vauramo. He's a Scandi-chic Chad Michael Murray, staring straight into your soul.

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Look at these eyes. Those piercing, wistful, rip-my-clothes-off-and-throw-me-into-bed eyes.

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2. While we're on the subject of eyes, how about a bit of Peter Franzén? His are as blue, and as deep, as a lake.

And what about that smile? That smile that says, "Book your flight to Helsinki and then get into my bed."

3. How about Jasper Pääkkönen? He loves fishing, but you know what he'd love more? Giving you a foot rub. And not expecting one back.

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4. And then there's Lauri Kalima. He's the kind of guy who'd keep you company on a long, dark winter's night.

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Just give me a moment while I die of literal swooning.

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5. Mikko Leppilampi would take you on a long walk through the forest.

Who knows where the two of you would end up?

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6. And Sebastian Rejman would sing sweet Finnish love songs to you as he gently stroked your forehead and let you fall asleep.

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"Minä rakastan sinua," he'd whisper into your ear, as you drifted off.

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7. Valtteri Bottas would row you out into the middle of a lake...

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8. ...and Olavi Uusivirta would be there to save you if you accidentally went out too far.

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"Ole huoleti," he'd purr as you snuggled up by the fire and he gave you a shoulder rub.

9. Sami Lepistö is the kind of guy who'd bake cinnamon buns for you. Every day.

10. And Pete Parkkonen would venture out into the forest in the middle of a thunder storm to cut down a tree, just so you had firewood to keep you warm.

Because all Pete cares about is making sure you're OK.

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11. Lauri Tilkanen would light the fire in the sauna for you.

And you'd go swimming together afterwards. Naked, of course.

12. Here's Markus Pöyhönen. He's running out to pick the last of the summer's blueberries for you. He's going to make you a mustikkapiirakka tonight.

13. And here's Teemu Selänne, who wants to take you on a romantic husky sledge ride in the snow.

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14. And finally, here's River Viiperi. He's undressing you with his eyes.

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He's undressing himself too.

"Hey girl, come join me in my sauna."

Update: A previous version of this post said that Jasper Pääkkönen didn't like fishing. I have since learned that he bloody loves it! My bad.

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