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    Updated on Sep 28, 2018. Posted on Sep 25, 2018

    22 Things People Say On Dating Apps, But Translated

    "I rarely ever check this app." ...Sure, Jan.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    Navigating the murky waters of dating apps can be tough โ€” especially when people rarely say what they mean.

    ABC

    THANKFULLY, I have taken it upon myself to decode some of the most common phrases used on dating apps! Here's to hoping this clears up any miscommunications!!!!!! ๐Ÿ’

    The EW

    (These examples may or may not come from my own personal dating app experiences, unfortunately.)

    1. "Do you have Insta?"

    TRANSLATION: "I can't tell if you're cute or not so I need to see more pics."

    2. "What does [occupation] do day-to-day?"

    TRANSLATION: "Your job sounds fake, but okay."

    3.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    4. "Let's just be spontaneous."

    TRANSLATION: "I'm never gonna set up a concrete plan with you, however I won't hesitate to drunkenly hit you up on a Thursday at 3 a.m."

    5. "Heyyyyyyyyy"

    TRANSLATION: "The number of Y's directly correlates to how many weeks it's been since I last got laid."

    6. "Hey"

    TRANSLATION: "I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO START THIS CONVERSATION SO I'M JUST GONNA GO FOR IT AND NOT OVERTHINK IT AND HOPEFULLY THEY'LL RESPOND WITH SOMETHING WITTY AND CUTE AND โ€”"

    7. "When's your birthday?"

    TRANSLATION: "I'm about to plug all this shit into Cafe Astrology and find out our astrological compatibility before we meet in person. Also, you better not be a Gemini."

    8.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    9. "Looking for a tour guide ;)"

    TRANSLATION: "I'm visiting for a few days and am NOT looking for a tour guide."

    10. "This app sucks."

    TRANSLATION: "WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?!?!?!?!"

    11. "I wish we could cuddle..."

    TRANSLATION: ".....................and by cuddle I mean have a lot of sex. Just making sure that was clear."

    12. "We'll get along great if you don't do [this], [this], or [that]!"

    TRANSLATION: "I am quite literally the worst!!!"

    13.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    14. "You probably can't handle me ;)"

    TRANSLATION: "I'M A LEO!!!!!!!!"

    15. "I'm just an old-fashioned gentleman."

    TRANSLATION: "Here's a pic of me holding a trout and BTW I will yell at you in public."

    16. "I rarely ever check this app."

    TRANSLATION: "I check this app very regularly and will respond to you at lightning speed."

    17.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    18. "I'm just a normal, easy-going gal."

    TRANSLATION: "I will willingly try butt stuff."

    19. "I work at a startup."

    TRANSLATION: "I live off of my parents' money, wear sweatpants everyday, and confidently refer to myself as an 'entrepreneur.'"

    20. "I don't want someone who starts drama."

    TRANSLATION: "Starting drama is exclusively MY ๐Ÿ‘ JOB. ๐Ÿ‘"

    21.

    Ellie Sunakawa / BuzzFeed

    22. "I'm not like the other guys on here."

    TRANSLATION: "PLS LEMME PIPE IT!!!!!!"

    Hope this clarified things for ya, but if I missed any common sayings, please comment them below and we can decode them together!!!!!!

    CBC Television

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