Ever wonder about the wild stories Uber and Lyft drivers must gather over the years?
Well, Reddit user u/IamHaiseSasaki asked the Uber/Lyft drivers of r/AskReddit: "Uber drivers, what's the deepest secrets you've overheard in your car?" Here are the wildest, scariest, and most surprisingly touching things they shared.
1. "I once picked up a sweet woman from a bar on a Wednesday night. She was absolutely hammered, and it was about 10 p.m. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk, and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while, with the windows down. I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, 'Yeah...I guess so.'"
"That's when she told me she had cancer. It was in her brain and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying and that she was going to be okay. Tonight, she was celebrating with her work friends who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad. 'I just didn't tell them that abroad was heaven.'
"Jesus. Christ. I turned off my app and cried my ass all the way home."
2. "I picked up this young, overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute. I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my next fare, but then I hear a cellphone ring in my backseat. I realize it's my previous ride's and pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I'll come back to drop it off. Turns out, it was the guy's wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress."
3. "One time, I was driving a dude for a bit of a long trip. He wasn't hammered but was definitely a bit drunk. It was late and he must've been feeling a bit down, so he confided in me and asked me for some advice. He told me he was madly in love with his fiancé's best friend and that he couldn't back out now. He'd been with this woman for four years and engaged for one, and set to be married in a few months."
"It was pretty sad to hear because it wasn't just your average story. It was filled with a lot of subtle emotional and mental anguish. The guy went through about five years of ups and downs with his fiancé and found an innocent friend and comfort in the fiancé's best friend. After a few years, he developed feelings and it was just downhill from there.
"I felt bad for the guy because he seemed like he was truly in love with his fiancé too, although he had strong feelings for this friend. He knew that going through with the marriage meant a lifetime of being around the friend and suppressing feelings, but also breaking it off meant that he lost the woman of his dreams. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy and I hope he's doing okay."
4. "I drove for Uber one night only. It was going pretty tame until I picked up these two guys. As soon as we got on the freeway, the guy in the passenger seat started asking about Uber driving and...things got dark. After a few minutes, he started saying stuff like, 'What would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median?' and, 'Have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the backseat tried to strangle you while you were driving?' I got a little freaked out but the one guy just kept at it. I never drove Uber again."
5. "I picked up this woman and her brother after they had been out celebrating her birthday. The brother was completely wasted and she was sober. He got in the back of my car, passed out, and she sat in the front. The ride started and we made small talk. Apparently, her brother and her boyfriend had taken her out for her birthday, but the boyfriend had gotten mad at her and went somewhere else. And the brother decided to get wasted so now she had to take care of him. It ended up being a bad birthday. On top of that, she told me her boyfriend made her feel really bad all of the time."
"I basically said stuff along the lines of, 'Your partner should be making you happy; otherwise, I don't see the point of having a partner at all.' She started crying buckets and told me how her entire life, she'd never realized that. She always just assumed that boyfriends/husbands have the 'right of way' as she put it and that she never even considered that she should be happy in a relationship. Maybe that stuck with her and she's moving on to better and happier things. I'd like to think so. That ride ended with me helping her drag her brother out of my car and up the steps to the house."
6. "One time I was driving an Uber Pool when a woman — we'll call her Woman #1 — got in the car alone and sat in the backseat on the passenger side. Then, a couple (a man and a woman) came, and there wasn't enough room for everyone in the back so Woman #2 sat behind the driver and the guy sat up front. The two women in the back started chatting and seemed to be getting along well. Woman #1 asked what they were doing that night and Woman #2 said, 'Oh, me and my boyfriend Josh are going out to celebrate. Josh works at [company] and just got a promotion. At that point, I noticed Josh crouching down in his seat and looking guilty."
"Then, Woman #1 said, 'That's funny, my boyfriend is also named Josh and works at [company]. I wonder if they know each other.' Then Woman #2 started tapping her boyfriend on the shoulder and bugging him to turn around to meet Woman #1. Josh couldn't avoid the introduction any more and so he was forced to turn around. He did so with a look of utter horror on his face as it slowly dawned on both women that they were dating the same Josh. Anyway, both women started screaming and kicked Josh out of the Uber. Not sure what happened after that but you can bet Josh never took Uber Pool again."
7. "One time, I picked up this woman who was carrying what looked like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat revealingly. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang. She answered the call and it started off pretty standard... I wasn't really paying attention. Suddenly I just heard, 'Girl, what're you worried about? You have a great-looking clit.'"
"She continued: 'No, Derek is super sweet. It'll be fun. I promise. No, girl, he's just gonna come through the doors... Yes, I'll be there. I'll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards. Anyway, he's going to pan through the doors and focus in on you on the bed. Just start playing with yourself. Nothing you haven't done before. Yes, after a few minutes of doing that, you call for the guards and I come in and we fuck. Yes, I brought the strap-on. It's in the makeup box.'
"And that's the story of someone planning their porno during an Uber ride...."
8. "I picked up a woman to take her straight from work to the hospital to see her dad. Her mom had called her work to let her off early because it was serious. Her dad had cancer. I dropped her off and was like, 'God, I hate this job because I'll never know how her night ended.' Wrong. The next night, I'm taking people home from bars and her two guy friends took her out to drinks because her dad had died. They were being drunk idiots so when I took them to get pizza, she came outside and we talked about it a little. That was probably the one ride where I felt I had a positive impact on someone's life beyond getting them home safely."
9. "My friend told me about a couple who got into his car. They were slightly drunk and talking nonsense to each other, so he didn't pay much attention. Eventually, the woman got quiet so he checked in the mirror and didn't see her, and my innocent friend thought she was asleep and even laughed about it with the man. Well, not long after that, he passed a speed bump and heard the man say, 'Oh no!' At the same time, a gurgling sound was heard and a smell of booze and sour filled up the whole car. So yeah, the woman was sucking off the man and the speed bump caused her to deep-throat and vomit all over the backseat. My poor friend still had to drive around with a vomit-smelling car. At least they rated him five stars."
10. "One night, I was driving around a large cul-de-sac looking for a man I was supposed to pick up. When I couldn't find him, I decided to do a second round of the cul-de-sac. I got about a quarter of the way through when two guys emerged from the park and one of them pulled out a pistol. He asked, 'What the hell you doing in my neighborhood?' I decided to act really calm and just let him know that I was with Uber and couldn't find the passenger I was looking for. He said, 'Oh, you're looking for [name]. He's at the top of the cul-de-sac in the blue house.' I thanked him for his help and canceled on my rider. ABSOLUTELY NOT."
11. "I picked up a guy from a gay bar and he was noticeably coming on to me. He then confessed that he was one of the founders of a very popular gaming company and offered me $2,000 dollars to come up to his room. He also refused to leave my car unless I kissed his hand. Fun times."
12. "I overheard two women talking about how they had sex with the same guy. They both agreed his member was too big and that he was hurting them by lasting too long."
13. "A few months ago, this lady came into my car while busily talking on her phone: 'Yeah, you can't tell anyone on the team yet. No, no, I haven't told anyone at all.' I was secretly eavesdropping, as I usually do, trying to figure out what kind of job she had. She continued: 'The details are kinda gruesome. The poor thing was lying there for a while after it happened because there was no one around. It was only a couple hours later someone saw and called us. She was still alive when we got there. Hey, listen, I gotta go. We'll talk more soon.' We had reached her destination: church. She got out of the car with a quick thank-you."
14. "Not my story but my mom's. My mom was telling me one time that she gave a ride to a young man who was about 20 years old. He had been fighting to become a SEAL his whole life and ended up falling asleep on the last day or two of training and got dropped for the season. He was just crushed because he made it through everything before and now he would have to start from scratch. Anyway, during the ride, he started to open up to my mom about his other passion, which was medicine. She suggested he chase that dream instead because he came off as a very caring and devoted person."
"At the end of the ride, he asked her to step out of the car so he could give her a hug and a huge thanks for lending an ear and giving her honest opinion about the situation. He also left her his phone number so he could give her a call and let her know what he decided to do. A few days later, he gave her a call and said he had returned back home to start taking courses to pursue a career in medicine."
Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.