1.
men really be like “when are u coming to my city?” b!tch am i on tour?
2.
“not all men”?? you’re absolutely right, trader joe would NEVER
3.
as a guy, you’re either into cars or you can make a girl cum. you can’t be both
4.
me talking about men in general: 🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 me talking about MY man: 🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚😚🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖❤💖❤💖💗❤❤💕💗💞❤💕💗💕💗❤💞❤💖❤💕💗💖❤💕❤💕❤🥰🥰💕🥰💞🥰💖🥰💕🥰💘💘💘❣❣💕💕❤🥰💖💕💗💕
5.
men poop for 100 hours a day
6.
There is no one pickier sexually than overweight middle aged white men who don't understand they're not in high school anymore
7.
When I saw Oprah interview Michelle Obama, Oprah asked how Michelle got over feeling intimidated sitting at big tables filled with smart, powerful men and Michelle said, “You realize pretty quickly that a lot of them aren’t that smart.” I think about that quote every single day.
8.
$100 to any guy that will just shut the fuck up https://t.co/dntZxaQRFy
9.
guys really be in dm's like: hey hey hey hey hey ok fuck you ugly bitch hey
10.
frat guys watch The Wolf Of Wall Street once and put “Entrepreneur” in their Instagram bio
11.
Men will keep you up all night from their loud ASS snoring and act surprised the next morning when you say you didn’t get much sleep... Wow I wonder, couldn’t have been the whole IMAX surround sound experience going on beside me at 2 am
12.
When a man tries to interact with me after buying me a drink
13.
Every time men speak I’m just like... you’re lying but ok
14.
Stop crying over men that can’t even back up a trailer
15.
guys are all talk and no venmo and i’m sick of it
16.
some men hate listening to women, so it’s always nice when you meet a guy who can tell you exactly how many times you just said “like”
17.
Your mcm probably measuring hand sizes with another girl right now just focus on ur degree sis
18.
I'm big on cancelling plans unless it's with a boy who doesn't care if I live or die
19.
Just a reminder that it’s not okay to have a republican boyfriend
20.
boys that will definitely ruin your life: 1. any boy named kyle 2. all matts 3. chads (or anything with -ad) 4. any variation of zachary 5. any guy whose name starts with j
21.
if I give birth to a boy I will not teach him how to speak
22.
tiktok girls inspire me caption: Day 1 of dancing to voicemails from my cheating ex boyfriend 🥰
23.
dads be like “go help ur mother” bro go help ur wife
24.
I fucking hate straight white men but they also turn me on, discuss
25.
When a boy hurts my feelings and then I remember I can tweet about it