Recently, Reddit user u/amethyst015 posted in r/AskReddit, asking: "Women of Reddit, what is something you wish other women would stop doing?"
So if you identify as a lady, sista, and/or ✨girly pop✨, here are some of the most surprising things that you just might — unconsciously — be guilty of, according to Reddit:
1. "Peeing on public toilet seats. Put some toilet paper on the seat if you’re that worried about germs."
3. "Writing love letters to convicted murderers."
"Ugh, that shit makes me cringe from secondary shame. I am embarrassed to be a woman whenever I read an article about some killer who got lots of press because his crime was unusually awful, who then gets tons of 'fan mail' from strange women to his prison cell."
4. "Being mean to other women in the workplace. Even if we dislike someone, it's no excuse to go out of your way to be rude and nasty to someone. 'Someone else’s shine does not dim yours.'"
5. "Photoshopping their photos to oblivion, thus reinforcing the unrealistic beauty standards. You know skin texture exists, why do you pretend it doesn't?"
6. "Not being nice to your daughter-in-law. Stop being shitty about her 'taking' your son."
7. "Asking if/when a woman is getting engaged/getting married/having a baby/having another baby/getting back to work after having a baby. Especially from older female relatives. It just doesn't end."
9. "Weird, intense 'dieting.'"
“To be clear, I’m not talking about someone trying to eat healthier or making smart/achievable lifestyle changes. I’m talking about the overwhelming number of women I personally know who go on these bizarre, unhealthy ‘diets’ with fasts and cleanses, and they don’t eat carrots or they count how often they poop or...I don’t know. Weird shit.”
10. "Insulting themselves/their appearance all the time. If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself!"
11. "Claiming we cannot critique other women or call out harmful behavior because being a feminist means supporting all women no matter what they do apparently. It's so silly. In my opinion, being a feminist means we should recognize that we are messy humans who make mistakes and sometimes hurt people. In order to be a better society, we need to not be afraid to call out harmful behaviors among our communities."
14. "Teaching their daughters that 'if a boy is being mean to you, it just means he likes you.'"
15. "Actively going after men in relationships. Yeah, I get it takes two to tango, hate the player, etc. — but why are you even doing it?"
17. "Taking the criticism of one person as license to stop doing what they love."
"'My teacher said my painting was awful, so I swore then and there never to paint again,' 'My mom said I was fat, so I have never worn a bikini,' 'My boyfriend said my story was stupid, so I quit writing,' etc. You're only hurting yourself. Twirl on the haters."
19. "Trying to find a feminine norm."
“Whether my hair or nails are short or long, someone will talk shit. Whether I breast or bottle-feed, someone will talk shit. Whatever I do, someone will talk shit. I am a woman, therefore I am doing womanly things. Including fixing cars or my house, including being strong, including being smart. And no, I am not afraid of scaring some imaginary man away by doing these things. Please stop trying to fit other women into some made-up feminine box.”
20. "Targeting married men exclusively. This is just a small percentage of women, but I mean...why? Cheating husbands are trash, no exceptions. But for some women to not take no as an answer from a happily married man is just sickening."
21. "Fake friendliness. If I don't like you, I won't pretend to like you. I'm not gonna be a dick or anything — I'll still be cordial. But I've had women rush up to me all smiles and hugs like, 'Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here!!!' and then I'll come to find out sometime later that they do not like me at ALL."
23. And lastly: "'Oh, you want kids but your man's not ready yet? Just secretly come off the pill and say it was an accident. It's your body — I did it with my kids.' I can't count how many times I've heard this."
Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.