So recently, Twitter launched a debate that truly shook Western civilization to its deepest, darkest core. And that debate, my chickens?
People say millennials “killed” chain restaurants, marriage, & napkins... But WHEN will they acknowledge our greatest take-down yet?? TOP SHEETS. I don’t know a single millennial who uses one. Top sheets are archaic. This is just the truth.
TOP SHEETS. OR. NO TOP SHEETS??????
If you're a SANE person who doesn't like being trapped in a papery FART SARCOPHAGUS, then the correct answer is OBVI NO TOP SHEET. Gold star!
"But Syd," you're probably wondering, "why are you — and seemingly so many other people of the younger generations — refusing to use top sheets?"
Well, dear reader, let me unpack this for you.
EXHIBIT A: TOP SHEETS ARE LI- 👏 -TER- 👏 -A- 👏 -LLY 👏 USELESS.
'top sheet' more like 'crumpled down at the bottom of the bed and the floor ready for me to trip over when i wake up sheet' but yes i still use a top sheet
Whenever I've slept using a top sheet, it always ended up crumpled down at the bottom. Like, SORRY I kick and roll around when I sleep instead of just lying still like a CARCASS!!! Top sheets?! WHO NEEDS 'EM!!!!!! 💁
EXHIBIT B: THEY'RE BASICALLY LARGE NAPKINS.
EXHIBIT C: HAVE YOU TRIED SLEEPING UNDER JUST A DUVET THO?!?!?
And EXHIBIT D: THIS TWEET.
Also, this is you using a #TopSheet
IN CONCLUSION:
ARREST ME: I DO NOT USE A TOP SHEET BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR NONSENSE
Join #TeamNoTopSheet in our MOVEMENT! Be on the RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The conversation continues... #teamnotopsheet