21 Shower Thoughts That'll Blow Every Twentysomething's Goddamn Mind
*runs out of hot water because I couldn't pay my utilities*
"Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself."
"'Send nudes, not nukes' is the 'make love, not war' of this century."
"The selfie we don't upload is what we really look like."
"Tinder should have a 'leave constructive criticism' option when you unmatch someone."
"I'm lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style."
"Memes are the propaganda posters of the current generation."
"Eating lunch alone as a kid is like torture; getting to eat lunch alone as an adult is a nice treat."
"Being scared to end a relationship is like receiving the 'Are you sure you want to quit? Any unsaved progress will be lost' pop-up for the game of life."
"Introverts are the extroverts of the internet."
"When you introduce two different groups of friends to each other, it's like your own life's crossover episode."
"It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly."
"Since cotton is a crop, all cotton shirts are crop tops."
"At some point in history, the idea of recording a sound must have seemed as intangible as recording a smell seems now."
"The stock market basically rewards people for liking something before it was cool."
"Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements. There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me."
"It's ironic that the phone has evolved into an effective way to avoid social interactions in public."
"If millennials aren't getting married, eventually they will be blamed for destroying the divorce lawyer market."
"You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner."
"Me at 8 years old: 'When I grow up no one will tell me when I have to go to bed.' Me at 33 years old: 'Ooo, there's an app that will analyze my sleep quality and patterns and alert me when my optimal bedtime is approaching.'"
"The man bun is the mullet of the millennials."
Castle Rock Entertainment
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