1. As an ex-girlfriend, YOU 👏 KNOW 👏 YOUR 👏 WORTH 👏:
This is by an ex who dumped me
2. AAAAND your transitive-property market value:
I think I’m the perfect your-ex-boyfriends-new-girlfriend because from some angles I’m really hideous (good for ur self esteem) and from some angles I’m really beautiful (good for your transitive-property market value)
3. Being an ex-girlfriend, you also know you have to look Good™ while Breaking Hearts™:
a woman came into the salon today to get a blow out and her makeup done the occasion? she's breaking up with her boyfriend tonight
4. And you know exactly how to be there for others when they, too, go through a breakup:
5. You've received some petty texts:
One time my ex was really mad at me after we broke things off & he sent me this & never talked to me again
6. You've been guilty of hyping up a guy to your friends, only to un-hype him two days later:
“Ugh I really like talking to this boy he is so sweet and cute” *2 days later* Me:
7. You are familiar with this timeline:
men love to date powerful women for 3-8 weeks
8. If your ex has a new girl, you find solace knowing that she probably drinks ~~fruity little drinks 'cause she can't shoot whiskey~~:
Carrie Underwood: “he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey” 8 yr old me: wow how embarrassing
9. You are seriously considering implementing an inconvenience fee:
When you see Mariah Carey is charging her ex an inconvenience fee for $50 mil and you start thinking of how inconvenient all your ex's were.
10. In this scenario, you are "Sharon," and you know exactly why you did it:
Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon
11. You've received a couple of these bad boys:
when ur drunk and ur ex texts you "hey"
12. You know how this ol' story goes:
When your ex comes back in your life saying they changed..🤔
13. You've FORGOTTEN 👏 THIS 👏 DEVICE 👏:
Me trying to get over a breakup
14. So no, you don’t have a boyfriend, and honestly? GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
find ur bf 👩🏻👩🏼👩🏽👩🏾👩🏿👩🏻👩🏼👩🏽👩🏾👩🏿 👨🏻👨🏼👨🏽👨🏾👨🏿👨🏻👨🏼👨🏽👨🏾👨🏿 👧🏻👧🏼👧🏽👧🏾👧🏿👧🏻👧🏼👧🏽👧🏾👧🏿 👦🏻👦🏼👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿👦🏻👦🏼👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿 cant find him? thats because u dont have one.