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Chip Skylark Awakened Me Sexually And I'm Finally Ready To Talk About It

I think it's time we have an open dialogue.

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*Freeze frame* *record scratch* Yup, this was me. A simple, Limited Too-adorned preteen growing up in East Coast suburbia.

Me, sadly

Like many other early-'00s tweens, I spent my mornings watching Fairly Oddparents with a bowl of cereal and my undisturbed innocence.

Nickelodeon / Via youtube.com

It wouldn't be until I saw Season 2, Episode 1 of Fairly Oddparents that I'd first feel the leathery claws of lust...

GIPHY / Via giphy.com

...in the form of animated pop sensation, Chip Skylark.

Nickelodeon / Via imgur.com

There was something about Chip Skylark. Was it his earring? His advocacy for dental hygiene? His sheer unattainability given that he was both a celeb and a cartoon character?

Nickelodeon / Via Twitter: @heymynameischip

IDGAF, but eleven-year-old me was here for it.

Nickelodeon / Via planetminecraft.com

Don't lie, you know you also thought he was a total babe. Liiiiiike, his jet black hair and piercing blue eyes that ~twinkled just like the stars in space~...?!

Nickelodeon / Via planetminecraft.com

Chip Skylark is a certified Nickelodeon Zaddy™.

Nickelodeon, Me

But JUST WHEN I thought cartoon guys couldn't get any hotter, Nickelodeon reaffirmed my taste in men by giving us Danny Phantom.

Nickelodeon / Via dannyphantom.wikia.com

"I don't have a type." - Preteen Me

Nickelodeon / Via aminoapps.com

The thirst for two-dimensional men was real.

Me

And still to this day, no man has come close to the singing, dancing, flossing ~GAWD~ that I prayed to all of my youth.

Nickelodeon / Via imgur.com

So, thank you, Nickelodeon, for giving us Sunday morning eye candy all throughout the 2000s.

THIRSTY. REACTS. ONLY.
Me

THIRSTY. REACTS. ONLY.

I LOVE YOU CHIP SKYLARK/DANNY PHANTOM!!!

Nickelodeon / Via aminoapps.com

Now play us off!!!

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