*Freeze frame* *record scratch* Yup, this was me. A simple, Limited Too-adorned preteen growing up in East Coast suburbia.
Me, sadly
Like many other early-'00s tweens, I spent my mornings watching Fairly Oddparents with a bowl of cereal and my undisturbed innocence.
Nickelodeon / Via youtube.com
It wouldn't be until I saw Season 2, Episode 1 of Fairly Oddparents that I'd first feel the leathery claws of lust...
GIPHY / Via giphy.com
...in the form of animated pop sensation, Chip Skylark.
Nickelodeon / Via imgur.com
There was something about Chip Skylark. Was it his earring? His advocacy for dental hygiene? His sheer unattainability given that he was both a celeb and a cartoon character?
Nickelodeon / Via Twitter: @heymynameischip
IDGAF, but eleven-year-old me was here for it.
Nickelodeon / Via planetminecraft.com
Don't lie, you know you also thought he was a total babe. Liiiiiike, his jet black hair and piercing blue eyes that ~twinkled just like the stars in space~...?!
Nickelodeon / Via planetminecraft.com
Chip Skylark is a certified Nickelodeon Zaddy™.
Nickelodeon, Me
But JUST WHEN I thought cartoon guys couldn't get any hotter, Nickelodeon reaffirmed my taste in men by giving us Danny Phantom.
Nickelodeon / Via dannyphantom.wikia.com
"I don't have a type." - Preteen Me
Nickelodeon / Via aminoapps.com
The thirst for two-dimensional men was real.
Me
And still to this day, no man has come close to the singing, dancing, flossing ~GAWD~ that I prayed to all of my youth.
Nickelodeon / Via imgur.com
So, thank you, Nickelodeon, for giving us Sunday morning eye candy all throughout the 2000s.
Me
THIRSTY. REACTS. ONLY.
I LOVE YOU CHIP SKYLARK/DANNY PHANTOM!!!
Nickelodeon / Via aminoapps.com
Now play us off!!!
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