"Moms are the best."
"Is... is that your mom drinking wine in a Marshall's?!?!?"
Does anyone have any anti-itch ointment perchance?
Is your moral alignment REALLY ~aligned~ tho?!?!?!
Because you deserve it.™
*sobs into work laptop causing severe water damage*
TL;DR: A cat used a Squatty Potty like a desk!!!!!!!!
BEWARE THE GOODEST BOY.
"Hey do you have Anxiety Prime?"
My boo: *doesn't put a heart in goodnight text* Me: do u still like me? lol
"My roommate and I stole a 'Speed Hump Ahead' sign. We thought it was funny because it said 'Speed Hump'."
The *very* Goodest™!!!!!!
Tag yourself: I'm the mom in #5.
I guess I'll take "his driving makes your stomach upset" for $3 and "makes fun of you for believing in astrology" for $2...?
So gentle. So tender. SOOOOO GOOD.
Can you feel their Dragon Energy™?
"Back in my day, our tapestries weren't from Urban Outfitters..."
WHERE TF IS MY PUPPY?!?!?!?!?!?!
It's a "yes" from me, dawg.