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Why We Should All Team Up And Fight Santa

Hear me out.

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A lot of people have this image of Santa being a cool dude who brings nice people gifts once a year, but no -- NO! I've got some issues with Santa.

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Like, who the hell is Santa to tell me whether I've been naughty or nice? What is the criteria? What if I've been going through a lot? What if I've had a rough year? Life isn't black and white, Santa, there are shades of fucking gray.

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And, while a man sneaking into my house to give me gifts might be reverse burglary, in a lot of states it's just called stalking. Like, how did he even get my address?!

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Oh, and I shouldn't have to leave him food! Santa, bruh, did you chip in for those groceries? No? Then get the hell out of here!

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Also, I wouldn't want that bearded weirdo anywhere near my kids, if I had any. Why are your breaking into my house to give things to my children? Stay away from my kids, you freak!

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And Santa's little helpers aren't elves, they're kids! He's breaking all kinds of child labor laws. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

Gpointstudio / Getty Images

Ya'll, we don't know anything about this guy and he's just coming into our homes. This is why I think we should all get together and kick Santa's ass! Or at least have him arrested.

Macrozone / Getty Images

I'm tired of his bullshit. I'm tired of having to walk on eggshells all year because I'm afraid I'll be put on the naughty list. I'm tired of this old bag of bones sneaking into my house. And remember, you can't spell "Santa" without "Satan".

Stevanovicigor / Getty Images

There's strength in numbers, ya'll. LET'S TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!

This post idea came from community member ReBa5, who truly understands that it's time to get this guy.

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