It's probably safe to say that worlds were shattered, hearts broken, and lives ruined when Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog announced their split last month.
Soon after, rumors began to swirl that Kermit had moved on with some nobody named Denise, who also happens to be head of marketing for Miss Piggy's show, Up Late with Miss Piggy.
But Kermit quickly killed those rumors.
Sheesh. I can't believe I already have to do this again... Here is the official statement on my relationship status:
And now Miss Piggy is opening up about the split and how she's doing post-Kermit.
In an interview with PEOPLE the most glamorous pig on the planet drops some Yeats and waxes poetic about her relationship with Kermit before revealing that the two just wanted different things.
I wanted to be trending on all social media platforms. He wanted to "blend in with so many other ordinary things." I wanted to go out and soak in the A-list nightlife. He wanted to stay home and soak in a tub of tepid swamp water. I wanted to live like a star. He wanted to live like a frog. I wanted Hollywood. He wanted vines.
Still, life without Kermit seems to be going incredibly well for Miss Piggy. Kermit may or may not have something going on with whatever-her-name-is, but I bet she-who-must-not-be-named has never had Liam Hemsworth call her beautiful.
In addition to going out with A-list actors, directors and producers (I draw the line at writers), I will also be dating non-famous people – extremely good-looking non-famous people – as well as men who are not in my league but who desperately want to go out with me.
But now, it is finally my moment to grab hold of the future and turn it into a binge-watching Lollapalooza of outrageous, titillating, side-splitting entertainment.
At last, I am my own pig, a proud Porcine-American who calls the shots on her own show – and shares all the drama, comedy, ups and downs, sturm und drang and all that jazz, of being a successful, powerful, extraordinarily talented woman in Hollywood – who just happens to work with her amphibious ex-boyfriend [on The Muppets].
Live your best life, girl! We're rooting for you!
