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    Posted on Sep 29, 2015

    11 Weird, Insane, And Absolutely Absurd Things I Learned From Grace Jones' Memoir

    386 pages of pure insanity.

    The legendary Grace Jones just released her memoir, which she swore she'd never write, I'll Never Write My Memoirs, and it's just as wild as you'd imagine.

    Eric Risberq / ASSOCIATED PRESS

    It's full of acid trips, old loves, outlandish situations and weird life lessons. For instance...

    1. Toss eggs at taxis that refuse to pick you up.

    Max Nash / AFP / Getty Images

    2. Only a true diva wearing Azzedine Alaïa could show up late to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver's wedding.

    Bruno Vincent / Getty Images

    Oh, and the Andy she's talking about is Andy Warhol.

    3. Never wake up a high Keith Richards.

    Julian Finney / Getty Images

    4. Your baby shower was probably trash compared to hers.

    Jo Hale / Getty Images

    Her son, Paulo, also referred to Keith Haring as Uncle Keith.

    5. She once made out with Lauren Bacall.

    Graham Denholm / Getty Images

    6. Blade Runner could have been completely different.

    Ian Gavan / Getty Images

    7. Apparently, houses in L.A. come with guns.

    Keystone Features / Getty Images

    8. Grace might not actually know how old she is.

    Neilson Barnard / Getty Images

    9. She has some feeling about losing a Grammy to Duran Duran...

    Glyn Kirk / AFP / Getty Images

    10. And also about Jean-Paul Goude's infamous Paper photo shoot with Kim Kardashian.

    Evan Agostini / Getty Images

    11. And her girl squad was one of the best girls squads in history.

    AP Images

    That's Jessica Lange and Jerry Hall.

    Oh, Grace, you are truly one of a kind.

    I'll Never Write My Memoirs is out now.

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