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You Know You Are From Melbourne When

Moving to Melbourne? Here’s 20 ways to know when the indoctrination is complete.

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1. You have used an umbrella, scarf, sunglasses, sunscreen and thongs – all on the same day

2. You see an AFL player and it is like seeing an A-Grade celebrity

3. You have performed a hook turn and thought you were a genius

4. You believe Melbourne’s coffee is superior to every other city in the world

5. You have no idea whether to turn your clock back or forward when daylight saving arrives

6. You believe Docklands will never be fetch

7. You have been to Revolver and come out in daylight

8. You believe you know the best burger place on Brunswick Street

9. You get stuck behind a tram at least three times a week

10. You don’t understand why we have a public holiday for a horse race, but you think it’s brilliant

11. You hate Sydney


12. But you are jealous of Sydney’s weather and beaches

13. You’ll pay exorbitant amounts for a fancy brunch, but no more than $7 for a kebab at 4am

14. You believe Melbourne is the sports capital of the world

15. You think Federation Square looks like a normal building

16. You have created several email addresses to better your chances of getting tickets in the Falls Music Festival ballot

17. You believe going to the other side of the West Gate Bridge is like going to Narnia

18. You feel overwhelmed by all the gelati in Fitzroy

19. You’re a little scared to go barefoot at St Kilda Beach


20. You think Melbourne is the best city in Australia… but you still don’t understand the Myki system

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