1. If you see a pretty woman walking down the street and you feel the urge to scream gross things at her, use this handy internal mantra: “Don’t.”
2. Oh look! A woman is minding her damn business on the bus, trying to get to work. Rub zero percent of your body parts on her.
3. You’ve offered to buy a woman a drink, and she accepted! Good job so far. Here’s the complicated part that a lot of DIYers get tripped up on: She owes you nothing.
4. Contrary to popular belief, you’re going to want to wait until *actually never* to post that slut-shaming internet comment.
5. Write this helpful rhyme on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning: “Consent consent consent consent consent consent consent consent.”
6. The shirt that woman is wearing allows you to see, like, most of her boob. The best thing to do here is to continue living your life.
7. A great rule of thumb when trying to decide how many seconds is appropriate to look directly into a woman’s cleavage: Don’t, and can you not.
8. Negging is for sad boys who are sad. Are you a sad boy?
9. Here’s a tricky one: Know that “No” is not a synonym of “Not right now, but I think persistence is sexy — try again in three seconds.”
10. A woman is drunk at a party! Sit on a nail if any of your thoughts begin with Now it will be easier to…
11. If you’re asking yourself, Is this sexual assault? then let’s be real: It probably is. Shut it down.
You're well on your way to becoming a decent member of society. Congrats! For further DIY tips, please consult Sweet/Vicious, premiering Tuesday, November 15 @10/9C on MTV.
Illustration by William Smith for BuzzFeed.