1. When Eddie Huang (Hudson Yang) asked, "Please, Mom. Can I get this?"
Only if what you want is on sale.
2. When Huang family patriarch, Louis (Randall Park), gave a speech about how much he and his wife have sacrificed in their pursuit of the American dream.
3. When their new non-Asian neighbors were surprised to learn the Huangs' names.
4. And when the aforementioned neighbor asked this question:
Note that Eddie cleverly avoided the "No, where are you really from?" follow-up question. Kid's a genius.
5. And when the same terrible neighbor bent down to say this.
Same, Eddie. Same.
6. When Jessica (Constance Wu) lectured her son about college and making money.
Of course, it's never too early to talk about college.
7. And when Eddie complained, Jessica's rebuttal was curt and complete with a guilt-inducing life lesson.
Asian parents have never held back in presenting their kids with cold, harsh facts.
8. When Eddie's teacher butchered the pronunciation of his birth name.
The struggle is the realest.
9. And at lunch, when the other students were repulsed by Eddie's lunch.
Who still remembers getting made fun of for their pork sung sandwiches and Hello Kitty utensils?
10. And made him an outcast as a result.
11. When, as a result, Eddie fought with his mom about how much their new home sucks.
12. And when his little brother Evan (Ian Chen) said this about the friend he made on his much better first day of school.
Of course, he called him a "fat kid." Asians are so flippant about weight.
13. When, at dinner, Louis and Jessica gossiped about a relative's new ride.
Casually arguing about whether another Asian could afford something... Soo Asian.
14. When Eddie demanded new food for lunch and the supermarket was quite different from the food markets in Chinatown.
Things get crazy inside Asian food markets, people.
15. And when Jessica happily accepted the entire bowl of "free samples."
Freebies! There's nothing Asian parents love more.
16. When this kid took things way too far.
DAFUQ YOU JUST CALL ME?
17. But when the principal threatened to suspend Eddie for fighting, of course his parents defended him.
Because Asian parents may be hard on their children, but they always have their backs.