1. Dude, I'm seeing people living through the MOST IMPORTANT moments of their lives.
It's like if the world was watching me while I took my college entrance exams or interviewed for a big job. Like, check out the intensity of Puerto Rican tennis player Monica Puig.
2. They've been waiting for this for at least FOUR YEARS, and now they might lose everything just by TRIPPING.
Imagine the anguish you'd feel.
3. That guy looks super nice. I'll root for him.
Seems like a valid enough reason to transcend national borders.
4. There really are some beautiful people, y'know? There are beautiful people everywhere in the world, in every sport, the whole thing.
Gimme a hug.
5. Look at the North and South Korean gymnasts taking a selfie, look at all the people hugging, look at how WONDERFUL THE WORLD CAN BE!
6. Humans really are capable of anything.
Brazil's Thiago Braz jumped almost 20 feet into the air. Wow.
7. If I hadn't dropped out of those judo classes when I was ten, I wonder if I'd be there today?
I remember being pretty good at it for an 8-year-old. But as good as bronze-medalist Mayra Aguiar? LOL. No.
8. I should get into a sport.
It's never too late, right? There are plenty of athletes in their 30s, 40s, and even in their 50s. The American gold medal cyclist – Kristin Armstrong – is 53!
9. Let's take another look at the list of events. I'm sure there's something I could be good at.
Hmm. I don't see competitive napping anywhere.
10. I wonder how much I'd need to train to be a competitor? I did get a volleyball game in last week...
Once a week for a couple months until I lose interest. Is that enough?
11. Or maybe I could just train to be a referee. They've essentially got front-row seats for all the events.
And some of the refs from Brazil even get cheers from the fans!
12. How did an idea like "HEY LET'S DIVE INTO A POOL FROM WAY UP HIGH AS IDENTICALLY AS POSSIBLE" become a sport? An OLYMPIC sport?!
13. If synchronized swimming can be a sport, anything is possible.
"Hey, let's combine swimming with mimes! The IOC will LOVE it."
14. Okay, fine... I suppose not everyone is capable of these great feats.
But I'd like to see if any of these Olympians know as much about memes and Netflix shows as I do.
15. How do gymnasts get over their fear of ending up in A TWITCHING HEAP and start doing these routines?
"I'll just do about three flips then land on my feet! No problem."
16. I didn't even know this sport existed and now I'm addicted to it.
And I know it's going to be impossible to watch outside of the games every 4 years.
17. I stubbed my toe while I was cleaning my house and I'm limping. These athletes sustain unimaginable injuries and just keep going.
Cool it. You're really showing me up here.
18. I'm so inspired by these athletes! I'm going to let their willpower carry me for the next 4 years.
I'm going to train, and train, and train until I never sprint to miss the bus again.
19. I can't believe I didn't think I'd be excited for this before it started. I should have known better.
I want an Olympics every year.
20. I'm totally going to the next Olympics. For sure, I'm going to get organized and I am GOING!
Wait... what?! What do you mean it's all the way in Japan?
21. Well, can't we just host something here that I could get into?
Maybe the World Yahtzee Tournament or maybe even an International Knitting Festival, whatever. I'm not picky.